Muppets from Space was the sixth feature film to star The Muppets and was the first since the death of Muppets creator Jim Henson to have an original Muppet-focused plot. It was directed by Tim Hill and produced by Jim Henson Pictures for Columbia Pictures. The film was originally released in theaters on July 14, 1999.
== Dialogue ==
Gonzo: Hey, wait for me! Hold the boat! I'm coming! Noah! Mr. The Ark! I'm here. Barely made it. For a minute, there. I thought you were leaving without... [Noah stops him] Gee, Mr. Noah, sir, I'm gonna come too.
Noah: What are you, anyway?
Gonzo: Oh, uh... Good question. Now technically speaking, uh, let's say, put me down as a whatever.
Noah: What do you mean? What is your species?
Gonzo: Uh, well, I, I, I... I don't know. I guess there's only one of me.
Noah: [Steps back, then points at gonzo] THEN YOU ARE DOOMED! [he walks inside, closing the door on Gonzo]
Gonzo: Wait. Wait! Oh. Huh?
Noah: [opens the door] Um...
Gonzo: Yes, sir?
Noah: You may need this. [grabs an umbrella to Gonzo, then closing the door on him again]
Gonzo: But, but, but, but... [opens the umbrella, causing to rain] Oh! [screaming in fear] NOOO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! No! No! No! I don't wanna be alone! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [dissolve to reality]
Gonzo: [muttering] No, no, no, no, no, I don’t want to be alone. No, no. [snaps out of his dream, screams] NOOO!!!! [accidentally knocks his best friend Rizzo the Rat out of the hammock, screaming out the window] I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!!!!
Rizzo: [off-screen] You're not alone.
Gonzo: [notices Rizzo] Who-Who Said That?
Rizzo: [As The Scene Shows Gonzo Looking Back And Forth Until He Notices The Window, Off-Screen] Gee. I Don't Know. Maybe It's The Rat Who's HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW!!!!!!!!![Miss Piggy runs past Statler and Waldorf]
Statler: Is breakfast over?
Waldorf: No, why?
Statler: Because I think the bacon just ran out.
Pepe: [comes to the table] The raspberry flap overs will be out in a moment.
Robin: Hey, Uncle Kermit, what will you do now that you're on vacation?
Kermit: Well, Robin, once I get those house painters started, l'm gonna kick back and relax.
Pepe: Kermit? When will you fix the oven, okay?
Kermit: [confused] What's wrong with the oven? [An explosion is heard in the kitchen. Everyone on the table react to that sound.]
Swedish Chef: Yurski burski popovers kaboofed!
Kermit: Yeah... I'll put it on the top of my list...
Pepe: There is a menu correction, okay? We will now be serving bologna sandwiches. [everyone makes disappointed sounds. Swedish Chef says something to Pepe] But no bread. [Everyone makes a disgusted noise and leaves the table]
Clifford: I'm already gone.
[Kermit sees Gonzo coming downstairs looking dejected]
Kermit: Hey, Gonzo, aren't you performing at that Bar Mitzvah today?
Gonzo: Nah. Electric Mayhem's covering for me.
Kermit: [concerned] But, Gonzo, you never miss the chance to get shot out of a cannon. Something wrong?
Gonzo: No. [beat] It's just that I'm sick and tired of being a one-of-a-kind freak, that's all.
Kermit: Gonzo, you are 'not a one-of-a-kind freak! You're a...
Gonzo: [annoyed] A whatever?
Kermit: Well... yeah!
Gonzo: You see?! See what I mean? I don't even know where I came from, or who I am!
Clifford: Yo, Kerm.
Clifford: You weren't expecting some house painters, were you?
Kermit: Yeah, why?
Clifford: They're just driving away.
Clifford: Animal bit one of them!
Kermit: Oh no! [The car engine of the house painters truck starts] Wait, guys! Don't let them go! [turns to Gonzo] You know what I think you are, Gonzo?
Kermit: Distinct. [turns to run to the door to try and stop the painters] Wait, guys! He didn't mean it! He's just a musician!
Animal: Musician! Musician! Musician! [Gonzo looks over at photos of the Muppets with their respective family members, before coming to photo of himself, alone]
Gonzo: [depressed] Distinct, huh? More like extinct... [pours the alphabet cereal in the bowl, but spills a little bit on the table] Oops. [looks at the letters spinning around, then making the words, saying, "Watch The Sky"] "Watch the sky"? Hey! Hey! Rizzo, come here. I think my Kap'n Alphabet is sending me a message.
Rizzo: [While holding a plate with bologna] I know what you mean. I had some guacamole and it's still taking to me.
Gonzo: No. No. Really. Look. Look. I'm not kidding. [looking at the letter cereals] It was there just a second ago. I swear, Rizzo. It said, "Watch the sky."
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "You need help?"
Gonzo: But, but...
Rizzo: Maybe you and your cereal would like to be alone. [takes the plate of] Oh, hey! ♪ My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R...♪
Gonzo: [he pours the cereal the bowl with letters, then grabbing a telescope] Cool. Huh? [he looks at the letters, then making the words, saying, "R U There"] "Are you there?" [calling out] RIZZOOOOOOOOOO!!!!Pepe: Come on, Rizzo. Time to bet, okay.
Rizzo: All right, prawn cracker. I’ll see your Maryland crab cakes and I’ll raise you a 1958 cheddar cheese never been sniffed.
Kermit: Crab cakes and cheese?
Clifford: Can't be that.
Gonzo: [excited] Hey, guys! The Cosmic Fish have spoken to me: I'M FROM OUTER SPAAAAAAAACE!
Rizzo: [not listening] Yeah, yeah, that's great - Pepe, are you in or out?
Pepe: I'm in.
Gonzo: I'm an alien!
Rizzo: You been tap-dancing on the barbecue?
Gonzo: No, no, Rizzo. I’m just fine.
Rizzo: MY CARDS! SOMEBODY GET A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! NOT MY CARDS. Oh, no, no, no!
Kermit: Gonzo, are you sure you’re okay?
Gonzo: Yeah, absolutely. But I have to respond. Gotta make contact.
Clifford: Where’s he going with those keys?
Pepe: Who cares? Flying saucer, maybe. Dos deuces. The prawn cracker wins.
Rizzo: Pair of twos! I swear I had four aces. I really did!
Pepe: ♪You got to know when to hold it...♪
Rizzo: No, no, no!
Pepe: ♪Know when to fold it, Know when to walk...♪Gonzo: Put a little more paprika on those, okay? Thank you. Well, that's everything.
Rizzo: He built it.
Pepe: And we came.
Gonzo: Remember guys, I built this new Jacuzzi for my alien family, so no eating in the spa.
Rizzo: [guiltily] We gotta tell him the truth, Pepe.
Pepe: You tell him, and I will smack you. I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay!
Sal: Yeah, Johnny?
Johnny: There are no cannolis!
Sal: Yeah, [holds up a slice of cake] but try this cake, this is a beauty!
Johnny: That is nice! Would you... [sees Gonzo, panics;] Gonzo, Gonzo! [Sal and Johnny turn away as Gonzo approaches]
Gonzo: Go easy on the buffet, fellas, I just want... [stops, seeing the cake cut and gets shocked] Who...cut...the cake? WHO CUT THE CAKE?! WHO CUT IT?!?!
Johnny [feigning outrage] Oh, look at that!
Sal: [feigning outrage] Who cut this cake?!
Johnny: That's awful. They would've done... [walks off with Sal]
Gonzo: The guests of honor aren't even here yet!
Fozzie: Hey, great party!
Gonzo: [sighs] Yeah... [looks up at the sky] I just wish they'd get here.
Sal: [in the background] Hey, you! Did you cut Gonzo's cake?Pepe: You said you going to tell him, okay?
Rizzo: Pepe, the Jacuzzi thing was your idea, and you have to tell him!
Pepe: [beat] Si, I will tell him, okay?
Gonzo: They're calling me!
Rizzo: Here he comes.
Gonzo: Hey, Gonzo!
Rizzo: I can't talk now, guys.
Pepe: You should've told him.
Rizzo: I wasn't supposed to!
Pepe: You said you'd tell him.
Rizzo: I said, you! I meant you.[Gonzo appears on TV]
Clifford: You better get down there, Kerm.
Kermit: Relax, no one is going anywhere, okay?
Gonzo: [on TV] You see, I was contacted through my breakfast cereal, and it was confirmed by the Cosmic Fish that I am from outer space.
Rizzo: [to Kermit] So, you wanna go now, or wait for the commercial?
Kermit: ...Now. [gets off the couch]Kermit: Listen, aren't you taking this alien thing a little too far?
Gonzo: Kermit, I realize that it may be hard for you to accept me as an alien... But I didn't choose to be one. And, well, I've always had alien tendencies - this just makes sense to me!Miss Piggy: [to the agents taking Gonzo and Rizzo away] Hey, studmuffin, hold it!
Agent Barker: [to the other agent] I'll deal with her.
Miss Piggy: [sarcastically] Oh, ha-ha you'll deal with moi? Look, chumpo, I'm just trying to get a story okay.
Agent Barker: How about this story? It's about a big bad wolf and a little pig.
Miss Piggy: No, that's three pigs okay.
Agent Barker: [menacingly] Not in this version.
Miss Piggy: [frowns] Hey, Wait a minute, you're not part of an alien-protection agency! Who are you? Where are you taking Gonzo?! [He grabs her arm] Hey! [A stand off between Miss Piggy and Agent Barker] Hi-yah!
Agent Barker: I'm impressed! [Knocks down a standing post] Black belt, third degree.
Miss Piggy: Hi-yah! [Knocks down wooden stand] Platinum belt, with an unlimited line of credit.
Agent Barker: [grins] I like this party!
Miss Piggy: Oh, ahh, tough guy, tough guy, ha-ha!! Come on, show me, show me! Oh, look, Cindy Crawford.
Agent Barker: Huh?
Miss Piggy: Hi-yah! [She hits him in the stomach] Ha-ha-ha!
Agent Barker: [chuckles] Where have you been all my life?
Miss Piggy: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! [They start dancing around until Agent Barker punches her in the face] Is that all you got?! [Miss Piggy keeps saying it after each punch on her nose until Agent Barker grabs her head and gives her a noogie] Not the noogie! HI!!!! [She punches him in the crotch and then he lets her go] Eh!
Agent Barker: Ooh! [He falls on his knees] Oooooooooooooooh! [He tumbles to the ground]
Miss Piggy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MAMA!!!!!![Later, on the set of UFO Mania Live]
Agent Barker: [tied up] ...That's all I know!
Miss Piggy: Okay, okay, so, let me get this straight now: This government agency, C.O.V.N.E.T., has abducted Gonzo, and taken him to its top-secret facility?
Agent Barker: Yes, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Well, thank you, darling. You've been most helpful. [excited] At last! [knocks over Barker] A real story! Intrigue, danger, new outfits, and it's mine, mine, mine! All mine! [runs off, then comes back, looking directly into the camera] Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited?Miss Piggy: Listen, everyone, listen. I've got great news! Gonzo has been kidnapped by the government, and it could be a life-threatening situation! [Everyone gasps in horror]
Kermit: How can that be "great news"?
Miss Piggy: Because... I've got the story! I've got the story! [gasps] I need to change! [runs up the stairs] Something that says, "Journalistic integrity"! Oh, I've gotta pee!
Kermit: Oh, brother!
Fozzie: What are we gonna do?
Kermit: Okay, guys, it's up to us: We have to save Gonzo from a whole army of government agents!
Fozzie: Well... I have a joke book.
Animal: Drumsticks! Drumsticks!
Pepe: I have some loose Jell-O, okay? [holds it up and wiggles it]
Kermit: ...Okay, well, that settles that. In circumstances like this, there's only one place to turn...Rizzo: This is ridiculous.
[Rizzo is in a rat maze in a laboratory with other rats]
Bubba: [to Rizzo] Hey, Riz. Watch out for those red circles.
Rizzo: What red circles? I don't see any... [is all of a sudden electrocuted and is launched into the air]
Bubba: Nobody ever listens...
Rizzo: Red circles. Right. [Rizzo is now with cheese and poison] Now let me see. Cheese, rat poison. Cheese, rat poison. What do you guys think, I'm crazy? [Rizzo gets punched by a boxing glove; the scene cuts to him holding onto a bar in front of a fan] This is a no-brainer. This ain't so bad. A little breezy. Oh, boy. Auntie Em, Auntie Em, it's a twister! [Rizzo is now is now in a centrifuge] This is just like one of those carny rides. You just gotta hang on, and at the end I get some cotton candy. I'M GONNA HURL!!!! [Rizzo is now with cheese and poison again] You're just trying to play mind games here. But I know the cheese is safe... ...because you think I'm going for the poison, right? [Rizzo tries to go for the cheese again and looks to where that boxing glove came from, but another one hit him from behind]Evil Scientist Man: Hey, rodents. You know the cheese I promised you... ...after you ran that maze and took those tests? It was delicious.
Rizzo: No cheese? NO CHEESE? All right, that does it - We're busting out of this joint, boys!
Bubba: No, Riz, no, even if we got over the wall, we couldn't turn the doorknob.
Rizzo: Who needs doorknobs? [lifts up his "Mice Girls" poster to reveal a hole, while the other rats gape in shock]Kermit: We gotta get through that door.
Fozzie: Should we just ask permission from those nice men with the rifles?
Kermit: [exasperated] Fozzie, those are the bad guys![Everyone falls into a pile after becoming invisible]
Pepe: Come on, Kermit. I will help you up, okay. [beat] Why, Kermit, you're so soft and plump...
Miss Piggy: [threateningly] You got one second to get your hands off me, shrimp.
Pepe: [mortified] Sorry, Piggy!Dr. Van Neuter: Let's see here... Have you ever experienced any achiness in your tentacles?
Gonzo: I don't have tentacles!
Dr. Van Neuter: Good, no achy tentacles, good... Head ever come off?
Gonzo: No, I don't think so.
Dr. Van Neuter: Good, good, good. Any gingivitis?
Dr. Van Neuter: Great. What about problems with that beaky thing you've got there? Itching, swelling, flaking?
Gonzo: Well, some flaking a couple years ago-
Dr. Van Neuter: [throws away clipboard] Oh, who cares? It's showtime! Here we go.
Gonzo: Oh, brother.
Dr. Van Neuter: Excellent, excellent.
Gonzo: What's that thing?
Dr. Van Neuter: I don't know. Here we go. Here we go. Just stay like that.
Pepe: This way.
Miss Piggy: Whose bright idea was this, anyway?
Fozzie: Which way, Kermit?
Pepe: Kermin! Kermin! This way.
Miss Piggy: I can't breathe!
Pepe: Come on, Kermin!
Dr. Van Neuter: Okay. Here we go.
Gonzo: Wait, wait.
Dr. Van Neuter: What is it?
Gonzo: Are you sure this is covered by my HMO?
Dr. Van Neuter: Good question. I'll check.
Gonzo: Rizzo. You're alive. Where have you been?
Rizzo: You don't want to know. Sit tight while I chew through these straps.
Gonzo: Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Van Neuter: Good news. You're covered with a $10 co-pay. Okay, hold still. And remember, if you experience any unpleasantness, please let me know. I'd hate to miss it.
Rizzo: Do you mind?
Dr. Van Neuter: Excuse me. Wait! Oh, good Lord! A rat! I hate rats!
Bubba: Then today ain't your lucky day, Doc.
Rat #1: Ready for an operation?
Rat #2: A little experiment.
Pepe: Forward, Piggy. Forward.
Kermit: Just a couple of doctors.
Pepe: Doctors in the hallway. That was close.
Kermit: To the right, Fozzie.
Pepe: Forward, Piggy. Too fast, too fast. The door. Stop!
Kermit: What in the world?
Singer: This is big, general. I think we should notify the president.
General Luft: I'll be the judge of that.
Singer: As always, sir.
Dr. Van Neuter: No, don't tickle me!
Pepe: What do we do?
Miss Piggy: Will you please get me out of here?
Dr. Van Neuter: No, no, no! I can't breathe!
Gonzo: Hey, guys. Quick, get me out of here!
Singer: Today, sir... ...we must think with a big mind. Behold. Irrefutable evidence of extraterrestrial life.
Dr. Van Neuter: Release me...
Singer: This looks worse than it is, general. Obviously, the...
Dr. Van Neuter: Get off of me, you vermin!
Singer: The alien is loose in the building. But not to worry, because...
General Luft: Don't bother. You're terminated.
Singer: When you say "terminated"...
General Luft: YOU NEED HELP, SINGER! FIND SOME!
Agent Rentro: Well, how'd that go for you, then? Okay?Gonzo: So sorry I got you into this mess. Anyway, thanks for coming to save me.
Kermit: You can thank us once we're out of here. All right, everybody, quietly now.
Woman in Security Guard: Stop! Come back here!
Animal: Help! Mommy!
Woman in Security Guard: Please, please. Listen to me. You can't leave me. I need you.
Animal: I go now.
Woman in Security Guard: Fine. Go on, go. You're all alike. Animals. Call me.
Kermit: Animal! Animal!
Gonzo: Come here!
Rizzo: Way to go, Romeo. Now let's get out of here.
Gonzo: Let's go, let's go.
Singer: I'm gonna kill somebody.
Agent Rentro: Now, now. Remember, calm blue ocean. You let it go. Baby steps, remember? Baby...
Singer: FIND THE ALIEN! NOW!
Agent Rentro: Yes, sir.Kermit: Try that door.
Gonzo: It won't budge!
[Guards are coming]
Kermit: OK, forget that door. Come on! [More guards] This way! [They're surrounded] Fozzie, quick! The door in a jar.
Gonzo: Oh, it's right here.
Animal: Yeah, yeah.
Fozzie: Um... "Open jar away from face."
Kermit: Fozzie, will you please just open the jar?! Hurry, Fozzie. Come on, throw it!
[The Muppets try to escape using the "Door in a Jar", but it only creates a door too small for them to get through]
Kermit: Gee, that's disappointing.
Miss Piggy: [sarcastic] Perfect. Somebody knock and see if Barbie's home.
Pepe: Works for me. Adios! [uses the door]
Rizzo: What?! [runs after him, but is unable to open the door] Oh, I cannot believe that little shrimp left us behind! [Pepe opens up the larger door next to them]
Pepe: I am not a shrimp - I am a king prawn! Let's go, let's go! Come on![Miss Piggy starts broadcasting on UFO Mania live at cape doom]
Miss Piggy: Midnight the lone Alien stands before a naked Sky the moon is tense my hair looks great!.
Shelly Snipes: What?!
Shelly Snipes: I don't believe this!.
Miss Piggy: Oh! Uh, Shelly.
Shelly Snipes: You back stabbing underhanded little coffe pig.
Miss Piggy: What?
Shelly Snipes: This is my show, my story, my microphone [Shelly takes the microphone and the camera man starts filming her instead of Miss Piggy] This is Shelly Snipes reporting please ignore this little sow [Miss Piggy takes back the microphone and the camera man starts filming her again]
Miss Piggy: Disregard this women I don't know what-- [Shelly pulls her ear] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hi-yah! [She hits her in the stomach and tackles her]
Miss Piggy: [She raps her legs around Shellys head] Wah! [She gets up but Shelly grabs her hair and pulls her down] Wah! Yah! [her legs go flying through the air] :[Shelly also pounds miss piggy then gets up and spits out a weave from miss piggy until she gets sprayed by her]
Shelly Snipes: What am I doing?
Miss Piggy: Um, you are about to give me your job and give everyone here a cup of coffee.
Shelly Snipes: Oh yes of course right away. [hands Miss Piggy her microphone and leaves]
Miss Piggy: I love this stuff.Singer: [to himself] Where is he?
Agent Rentro: I didn't overhear anything...
Singer: [looks up] Did I ask you if you overheard anything?
Agent Rentro: [guilty] No, sir.
Singer: Because if you did overhear anything, l'm sure you would tell me.
Agent Rentro: Yes, sir.
Singer: Or do I have to remind you of Mr. Jumbo's Circus Town and Wild Animal Revue? [Rentro looks afraid] [angrily] Where's he going?! [Rentro stays silent] Oh, look; Sunday's half price at the petting zoo...!
Agent Rentro: Okay, okay! They're going to Cape Doom!
Singer: Good, good. Get me the Subatomic Neutro-Destabilizer. [Rentro looks at him blankly] The Subatomic Neutro... [gives up] Oh, the really big gun.
Agent Rentro: The really big gun! Yes, sir! The really big gun... [retrieves it from a secret compartment, and hands it to Singer] Really big gun.
Singer: [holds out hand] Clip.
Agent Rentro: [hands it to him] Clip!
[Singer loads the gun]
Singer: Let's head for my car.
Agent Rentro: [stops] Oh. Problem there, sir. [Singer stops] Remember those parking tickets you asked me to take care of for you? And I said that-
Singer: Oh, just say it.
Agent Rentro ...Car's impounded. [Singer glares at him] Oh, we can take my company car!
Agent Rentro: Great! ♪Sixty-six bottles of beer on the wall, Sixty-six bottles of beer...♪
Singer: Excuse me. Excuse me! Can this thing go any faster?
Agent Rentro: I'm doing 30. You want to slow down there, buddy? A lot of traffic tonight, sir. Safety first.[After Singer's gun fails to fire at Gonzo and his family]
Kermit: [relieved] That was a close one.
Agent Rentro: Not as close as you think, my friend. [holds up gun clip] [imitating gun:] "Please load weapon"![last lines]
Gonzo: What a great day! That was probably the best day of my whole life! [pause] But, there's one' thing I don't understand.
Kermit: What's that, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Why did they ask me to build a Jacuzzi?
[Pepe chuckles][a guard sees Fozzie’s hands]
Female Guard: Freeze! YOU! HANDS! UP!
== Cast ==
Jeffrey Tambor as K. Edgar Singer
F. Murray Abraham as Noah
David Arquette as Dr. Tucker
Rob Schneider as UFO Mania TV Producer
Andie MacDowell as Shelley Snipes
Josh Charles as Agent Baker
Pat Hingle as General Luft
Hollywood Hogan as Man in Black
Ray Liotta as Gate Guard
Kathy Griffin as Female Armed Guard
=== Muppet actors ===
Bill Barretta as Pepe the King Prawn, the Swedish Chef, Bobo the Bear as Agent Rentro, Johnny Fiama, Bubba the Rat and Rowlf the Dog
Kevin Clash as Clifford and Carter
Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Waldorf, Swedish Chef, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Zoot
Brian Henson as Dr. Phil Van Neuter and Sal Minella
John Henson as Sweetums
Adam Hunt as Scooter
John Kennedy as Dr. Teeth
Jerry Nelson as Robin the Frog, Statler, Uber-Gonzo and Floyd Pepper
Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal and Sam the Eagle
Steve Whitmire as Kermit the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Beaker and Bean Bunny
== External links ==