[<< wikiquote] Tom and Jerry
Tom and Jerry is a series of the cat and mouse duo from 1940 to 1967.

== Tom and Jerry ==
Jerry: (whispering) Hey! You wanna get back in the house, don't you?
Tom: Yeah.
Jerry: (whispers) Okay then, I'll....(whispers again)
Tom: Uh-huh?
Jerry: And you....(whispers again)
Tom: Oh...
Jerry: If that would load both.....[whispers again]
Tom: (decided) That's a Lulu!!!Jerry: (after kicking Tom into a pie) Why that dirty, double crossing, good for nothing, two timing....Tom: Gee. I'm throwing away a million dollars. BUT I'M HAPPY!!! (goes back to attacking Jerry)Jerry: (to Tom, who is a bull) Haha!, Toro!, C'monTom: (knocks on the door, and rings the doorbell) Yoo-hoo! HEY, TOOTS!
[Tom then drops the box and hides behind a pillar on the porch. Toots opens the door and is pleasantly surprised at the bоx which she opens].
Jerry: Uh, what's cookin' Toots?Jerry: (in high-pitched voice in speed) Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I hope and hope my soul He'll take. Amen.Tom: (drunk) One, for the money. (hiccups) Two, for the show. (hiccups) Three to get ready. (hiccups) And four to go!Tom: (after getting beaten up and/or blown up) Don't you believe it!Tom: (in a mock Charles Boyer voice while holding Spike, whom he thought to be Tootles Galore) I love you. (giving Spike kisses) Ah, you set my soul on fire. (kissing his cheek) It is not just a little, uh, spark. It is a flame; (kissing his cheek once more) a big roaring flame. Ah, I can feel it now.Tom: (in Blackface) No ma’am! I ain’t seen no cat around here! Uh-uh! No cat, no place, no how, no ma’am!

== Mammy-Two-Shoes ==
[first lines] Jasper? Jasper! That no good cat! Just a minute, you good-for-nothing cheap fur coat! Now would you just look, just look at that mess you've made! Now, understand this, Jasper, if you break one more thing, you're going out - O-W-T, out! That's clear, ain't it? One more breaking, and you're going out. Now get out of my sight before I get mad!
Jasper? Jasper! That no good cat! Just a minute, you good-for-nothing cheap fur coat! Now would you just look, just look at that mess you made! Now, understand this, Jasper, if you break one more thing, you are going out - O-U-T, out! That's clear, isn't it? One more breaking, and you're going out. Now get out of my sight before I get mad!
Any more breakin' and that cat's goin' outta here!
One more breaking, and that cat is going out of here.
Jasper? Jasper! Man, you is practically out now!
Jasper? Jasper! Man, you are practically out now!
Land sakes! What’s going on in here? Why, you overstuffed Pekingese hound, you! Whatcha doin' in here, wrecking up the house?! Get outta here, you pug-nosed old messing good-for-nothing! You know darn well you ain’t allowed in the house yet, know-how!
Land sakes! That pesky mouse been havin' a jam session right here in my bread box! And look at the raided refrigerator! And the nibblings on my chocolate cake! Boy, what is this? A holiday for mice? And me with 2 cats in the house! [She leaves the kitchen and begins a search for the cats Tom and Butch, threatening to place them both on the receiving end of her dissatisfaction] Boy when I lay my hands on those two good-for-nothin', lazy... [She enters the living room, and finds her desired target beings, Tom and Butch, present. Tom rests on the sofa, while Butch lies on the floor with his head on a pillow. The cats have cream situated around them. As a result, she stops and employs a relaxed, laid-back mood] Oh... well, gentlemen. I'm glad to see you is enjoyin' your little siesta. [Tom and Butch nod in confirmation] You is comfortable, ain't you? [Both confirm] And is both getting plenty of nice fresh cream? [Both confirm] Well, I'm glad youse is satisfied... [Enters a state of anger] 'CAUSE I AIN'T! [Tom and Butch suddenly awaken and gasp, before rushing to the wall behind them and holding on to one another in fear. Mammy then speaks to them, issuing instructions and an ultimatum] There's a mouse in the house! And there's 2 cats! But there's only gonna be 1 cat in this house in the morning. And that's the cat that that catches that mouse! Now get goin'!
Thomas, if you is a mouse catcher, I'm Lana Turner, which I ain't. The trouble with you is you is gettin' too old to catch mice. So I has decided to bring in a new and younger cat. Step up here and meet a real mouse catcher. Oh, Lightning!
Thomas, if you are a mouse catcher, I'm Lana Turner, which I'm not. The trouble with you is you are getting too old to catch mice. So I have decided to bring in a new and younger cat. Step up here and meet a real mouse catcher. Oh, Lightning!
Boy, you is a gentleman and a mouse catcher.
Boy, you are a gentleman and a mouse catcher.
That's right, Lightning, take good care of poor old Uncle Tom. Well, goodnight, Lightning, see you in the morning. Hehehe. Love that cat.
That's right, Lightning, take good care of poor old uncle Tom. Well, goodnight, Lightning, I'll see you in the morning. Hehehe. I love that cat.
Thomas? Is that you in the icebox? Thomas, has you been in that icebox? You have?! Then out you go!
Thomas? Is that you in the icebox? Thomas, have you've been in that icebox? You have? Then out you go!
Were you sleeping? You shouldn't  be.
Were you sleeping? You'd better not be.
Hold on there, you no-good cat! Just look what you've done that I clean the floor! Get out there! Take this mop, now start clean!
Thomas! Oh, Thomas! Come in here and see what we got. Ain't they cute, Tom? And you get to take care of them. Now, you be good to them, and I'll run down to the store for some nice, fresh cream.
Thomas? Oh, Thomas? Come in here and see what we got. Aren't they cute, Tom? And you get to take care of them. Now, you be good to them, and I'll run down to the store for some nice, fresh cream.
Thomas! What's the idea picking on them poor little kittens?! If you don't take good care of them little angels while I'm gone, I'll pulverize you to pieces! You hear me?!
Thomas! What's the idea picking on the poor little kittens?! If you don't take good care of the little angels while I'm gone, I'll pulverize you to pieces! Do you hear me?!
[screams] Thomas!!! You no good cat!!! Attacking from the rear ay!!! Well, take this, and that and get out of here!!!
[to Tom] Hey, you! Have you seen a black-foot cat around here? (Tom: No, ma'am! I ain't seen no cat around here! Uh-uh! There ain't no cat! No place! No how! No, ma'am!) Thomas!

== Spike ==
[to Tyke] That's my boy.
[to Tom, in “The Framed Cat”] Hey, you! Whatcha doin' with my bone? [Tom points at himself, gesturing “Me?”] Yeah, you! Listen, pussycat! If I catch you taking my bone again.... [wallops Tom on the head] there's gonna be trouble! Understand?! [throws Tom into the tree and Spike leaves. Tom sticks his tongue out at Spike. Spike hits Tom with his bone, causing the cat to bite his tongue]
[to Jerry] Babytalk! Ain't he cute? Just whistle.
[to Jerry] How am I doing, pal?
[giving Tom instructions, from “That’s My Pup!”] Listen, pussycat, my boy's learning to chase cats and I don't want him to have any trouble, understand? When he starts barking, you start climbing. Is that clear? [Jerry nods] Okay, then, let's go.
[to Tom, from “The Dog House”] Wait a minute pussycat, ever since I was a pup, I've wanted a little place of my own, and I still want it. But if one more thing happens to my little dream house.... there's going to be murder! [throws Tom]
[to Tyke] Son, now you know why dogs hate cats.
[to Tyke, from “Pup on a Picnic”] I don't know what's the matter with that cat, son, but he better keep away from our lunch, right? [Tyke barks]
[to Tom, from “Fit to Be Tied”] I learned this one on television! [Spins and slams Tom]
[to Tom, from “Hic-cup Pup”] Hey! What's the idea waking up my boy?! [Tyke hiccups] Look at that! You gave him the hiccups too! Every time his sleep get disturbed, he gets the hiccups. [pats Tyke gently] There, there, son. [to Tom] If you wake my boy again, there's gonna be trouble!
[to Tyke, from “That’s My Pup!”] You know, son, now that you're grown up, it's time we have a heart to heart talk about the facts of life. First of all, you're a dog. And there's three things are dogs gonna know how to do. First: a dog's gonna know how to be man's best friend. That comes in two easy positions: the begging position with the big sad, soulful eyes, and the lyin' at the master's feet position also with the big sad, soulful eyes. Now the second thing that dog has to know is to how to bury bones. [buries his bone] Why? I don't know. I can never find them, after I bury them. [laughs] But that's what dogs is supposed to do. Third, and most important: all dogs gonna know how to chase cats. Which happens to be my specialty.
[to Tom] Hey, you! That's my boy you got in your hand! Listen, pussycat. If I catch you bothering my boy again, I'll tear you apart! Now beat it!
[to Tom, from “Tops with Pops” aka “Love that Pup!”] Where's my boy?! [Tom shrugs, “I don’t know.”] If he's under that barrel, I’ll skin ya alive!
[to Tom] Come on!, Lift it up!
Spike: [in "Quiet, Please!"] Listen, pussycat, I’m trying to take a nap, a little beauty rest, see?! And you’re driving me nuts! I’m a nervous wreck, look! [tugs on his tongue causing his ears to make a clanging sound. Turns his voice calmly] Please, chum, take it easy, play off the noise, huh? [then angrily] 'Cause if I heard one more sound, then I’m gonna skin you alive! [rips off some of Tom's fur] Get it?! [Tom nervous shakes his head nervously, while Jerry nods his head seizing an opportunity] Now scram!
Spike: Listen, pussycat, if anything happens to my pal, I’ll poke you in the puss. I’ll pulverize you! I’ll pound you to pieces! That’s what I’ll do, pound you to pieces. Like this! (pushes Tom into accordion) Just whistle, little pal.
[About Tom, from “Barbecue Brawl!”] What's the matter with that crazy cat? He'd better not spoil our barbecue.

== Dialogue ==
Spike: What's all this fighting getting in us, huh? Cats can love dogs, can't they?
[Tom nods yes]
Spike: And mice can get along with cats, can't they?
[Jerry shakes his head no, but then nods yes]Toots: [exclaiming] Jackson!
Tom: "What's jumpin' chick?"
[Jerry reappears and his eyes turn into Tom's suit. Tom then lights a cigar which causes the girl cat to exclaim.]
Toots: You're really a sharp character! A mellow little fellow. Now you collar my jive. You're on the right side, you alligator, you. Slip me some skin, my friend.
[As she is complimenting him, Tom is showing off his suit. A coat hanger is stuck in the back of his jacket to hold the shoulders to full width, and the chain around his neck is a bathtub plug. She invites Tom into the house.]
Tom: Well, all reet, well, all root, well, all right.
Toots: Let's dig a little righteous jive. Do you hear me? Latch on, Jackson. We're off.Gatekeeper: [after reading Tom's evil biography] Hmm, apparently, your whole life was spent persecuting an innocent little mouse. With a record like that, I can't let you through. I'm sorry, Tom. However, the Heavenly Express doesn't leave for an hour. [he then hands Tom a certificate of forgiveness] If, within that time, you can obtain the signature of that little mouse on this certificate of forgiveness, you will be permitted to pass. But if you fail, it's this...
[the Conductor pushes a button, a television screen turns on, showing an image of hell, and in it, Spike is personified as the Devil, to Tom's alarm]
Devil Dog: [after a diabolical laugh] Let me have him! Send him down! Give him to me now!Mammy Two Shoes: And this, Mr. Thomas, is your last and final chance. If you don't keep that mouse out of the icebox, you're going out, understand? Remember, you are on guard.Cousin Muscles: [Cousin Muscles grabs Tom and eyes him closely] Listen Pussycat! Don't let me catch you pickin' on my little cousin while I'm around, y'understand? Now beat it! [Muscles throws Tom into a vase]Radio Announcer 1: Attention! Attention everyone. We interrupt this program to bring you this warning. A ferocious lion has just escaped from the circus. I repeat, a ferocious lion has just escaped from the circus. You are advised to bar your windows and doors immediately.Radio Announcer 2: Your attention please! We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this urgent warning. A white mouse has just escaped from the experimental laboratories! Before escaping, he consumed enough of a new secret explosive to blow up an entire city! If you see this white mouse, telephone officials at once! And whatever you do, remember! The slightest jar will explode this white mouse and destroy the entire city! Be careful! Please, be careful!Radio Announcer 3: Yes, the whole world laughing at that hilarious new novel "Life with Tom". This book, by the new, brilliant author, Jerry Mouse, is on sale everywhere. Get your copy of "Life with Tom"! It's a SCREAM!Radio Announcer 4: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your host at Melody Time bringing you six hours of continuous dance music.Devil Cat: I'm disgusted with you. You're yellow. You lost your nerve? Now, listen here. You're a citizen, ain't you? You've got rights. That mouse was yours first. You have priorities on him. Okay then. Plant that ax in his toupee. And you have that little cheesenapper all to yourself. Go on, swing it.Devil Mouse: There goes your little playmate. Every time he (points at Tom) sees a dame, he falls in love. Every time he falls in love it means trouble for you.Woman Radio Announcer: And that, my dear children, concludes this evening's Witching Hour. [Tom sighs with relief] And you do believe in ghosts...don't you? [He nods]Police Officer: A baby crawlin' down the street?! Now who would be after believin' that! [Just then, to their surprise, the baby crawls past the police car and away into the distance, as the cartoon ends.]Tom: can't believe that Mouse has befriended a Bernard dog even though he is St.
Wait a second I got a good idea!
(The screen cuts to the dog and Jerry)
You know what mouse I think it's time to grab some hot cocoa stick it up smile with Glee and also drink some juice.
Yep and I'm good that Tom-
Hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha I found  ya
I'm afraid not cat!
You're getting away now go shoot shoot!
(Tom runs away but crashes into a tree slips and falls into an icy hole)
[Rushing to the ice hole]
Wake up wake up man can you hear me?!
He can't answer you.
You need to wake up!
I know I got some leftover kit of grog!
This will heal him in a jiffy!
(Grabs a freezing Tom, cracks the ice, then uses his grog to heal him)
He's waking up!
Where is that little Mischief Mouse?
I knew I hadn't-
(Turns towards Jerry)
How many times do I have to tell you that I eat mice?!?
(Tom runs after Jerry but is too busy ice skating on the ice) 
Wow this is awesome!
The cat is having a very good time isn't he?
(Jerry nods)
Oh no what now?
Knocked out unconscious.
Poor cat.
(The screen Cuts to Tom in a bucket filled with water sneezing coughing and wheezing)
Is he going to get well?
Of course just let him sit down and wait for a few days he's going to be all right.
But if he waits a few days, he's going to turn old!
I know but the best way is I'll give him a cup of hot tea.
um... Mouse?achoo! Can you give me a (shiver) a blanket?
You have a cold you're going to get healed my friend is going to bring you hot tea.
I have to get special care?
You said that I was the fastest guy in the world and now I'm not!
Here is your cup of hot tea made with sugar honey and lemon.
Disgusting I cannot drink that plus, I have a dead mouse tea.
I don't know what's wrong with him he got sick and now I have to give him very good cold care.
Yep but the best way is we can give him a Ice cough drop.
Too late he found out!
Wait a second I got a better idea.
(Grabs a hot pepper and shuffles it into Tom's mouth)
For the dingles of you being so bad, the last thing I'll do is-
Nice work Jerry.

== External links ==