[<< wikiquote] The Mask (film)
The Mask is a 1994 action comedy film starring Jim Carrey, released in the United States on 29 July 1994, it co-starred Cameron Diaz, in her screen debut. Directed by Chuck Russell, it is based on a series of comic books published by Dark Horse Comics.

== Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask ==

It's party time! P-A-R-T-whY? Because I gotta!
Look, Ma, I'm roadkill! Ha ha ha!
After being flattened onto the road
[acting as a balloon salesman to a group of thugs] Step right up here! Don't be shy! Nobody likes a bashful leather head! [Pause] MOVE IT! [the thugs approach him] For my first trick...I'll do something for you, son. [makes a giraffe-shaped balloon] We have a giraffe. [Offers it to a thug] There you go, son. Now get out of here. You bother me. Now...[pulls out what appears to be a used condom] Sorry, wrong pocket. For you, son. Little body English. [makes a poodle-shaped balloon] A French poodle. [Rips it apart before the thug can take it] Sorry, son. The dog was rabid. Had to put her down. And, last but not least, my favorite. [makes a gun-shaped balloon, which transforms into a rather rubbery submachine gun. He aims it at the thugs] A Tommy gun!! [as the thugs run away. the Mask shoots at them while laughing manically]
This is incredible. With these powers, I could be...A SUPERHERO! I could fight crime, protect the innocent, work for World Peace! But first...
Hold onto your lugnuts — it's tiiiiime for an overhaul!!!
Hold on, sugar! Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight!
Sssomebody stop me!
Uh-oh...can't make the scene if you don't have the green; I better make a little stop.
[After robbing the bank, to Dorian's henchmen] Sorry, fellas. Waste not, want not.
Let's rock this joint!
Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.
Hold me closer, Ed, it's getting dark... [coughs] Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out... [coughs]...tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas... [coughs]...tell Scarlett I do give a damn! (coughs on thug, a fart is heard) Pardon me... [he dies, an audience appears and gives the Mask a standing ovation while The Mask is handed Oscar acting award] Thank you! You love me! You really love me!
Did you miss me? I GUESS NOT!
Now you have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" WELL, DO YA... PUNKS?!
In a Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry voice
In an Italian accent, using a line from an Alka-Seltzer advertisement, after swallowing a bomb, then belching out the explosion
This guy's incorrigible.
You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second-best, see?
After defeating Dorian, with an Eddie G. Robinson voice
Thank ya very much!
Dodging bullets with an Elvis Presley voice

== Dorian Tyrell ==
Ice this dead meat!
50 grand. 50 grand to the man who finds that green-faced son of a bitch before the cops do. I want you to get the word out to every street hustler, to every lowlife in this town. I want him in here tomorrow, alive. You still here? Come on, let's go!
I'm just an ex-employee, who's come for his back pay. Or should I say, PAYBACK!
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be your host for the remainder of the evening.

== Peggy Brandt ==
Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town ? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood !
I'm sorry, Stanley. You really are a great guy, I just can't afford to lose my condo. You know how hard it is to afford an apartment in this city.

== Charlie Schumaker ==
[sees Tina enter; to Stanley] Hold the phone. Killer at ten o'clock.
Officers, arrest those men! ...I always wanted to say that.

== Dialogue ==
Alley Punk: Hey, mister! You got the time?
The Mask: As a matter of fact I do, Cubby. [pulls a watch out of his pocket] Look at that! It's exactly two seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head! [A strong tick is heard, Mask honks punk's nose and pulls his underwear over his head]Bobby: Uh, are you on the list?
The Mask: Nooooo. But I believe my friends are. Perhaps you know them. [He takes fistfuls of high denomination cash out of his pocket] Franklin, Grant, and... Jackson?Driver: Hey, get out of the road!
The Mask: I think he wants to communicate! [The Mask holds up a tiny horn that says "Squeeze me gently". He does so, blowing it at the driver. The horn unleashes a deafeningly-loud "AH-OOOOOOOOOOO-GAH!" and explodes the car's windows with its volume. The horn turns into it's normal size and the Mask blows on the end like a gun, dusts himself and leaves.]Dorian Tyrell: SON OF A BITCH!![throws the cigarette lighter over the glass window; to Eddie] Eddie, who did this, man?! WHO!!?
Eddie: [pointing to The Mask] Him! Him! Look ,that's — that's the guy!
Dorian Tyrell: That guy dancin' with Tina? He's dead meat. Come on!Dorian Tyrell: Okay, Twinkle-Toes, I want to know where my money is and I want to know right now!
The Mask: Okay. [puts on a green eyeshade and pulls out an accounting machine] You've got 17.5% in T-bills amortized over the fiscal year. 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the nine, divide by the gross national product. Fortunately, funeral bouquets are deductible!
Dorian Tyrell: [to Orlando] Ice this deadbeat!
Orlando: [begins shooting, which the mask easily dodges]
Dorian Tyrell: Shoot him!
The Mask: [turns into a matador] Toro! [turns into a cossack] Oy!Oy!Oy!Oy! [turns into Elvis] Thank you very much. Huh! Huh! [turns into a cowboy, who draws before his gun is shot out of his hand. A squish is heard] Ugh, ya got me partner.[The Mask is being searched by the police]
Doyle: Really big sunglasses...
Park Policeman: Bike horn...
Doyle: Small mouth bass...
Park Policeman: Bowling pin...
Doyle: [yelps in pain] Mouse trap...
Park Policeman: Rubber chicken...
The Mask: A little to the left... that's it.
Doyle: [squeezes a stress reliever toy a few times] Mmmm, I don't know... funny eyeball glasses?
The Mask: I've never seen those before in my life.
Park Policeman: Bazooka?
The Mask: I have a permit for that.
Doyle: Picture of Kellaway's wife...
Kellaway: What?!
The Mask: Uh oh...
Kellaway: [snatches the photo from Doyle] MARGARET! YOU SON OF A...!
The Mask: Jeez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all... YOU MARRIED HER!!!
[Kellaway screams angrily; The Mask rapidly slaps the sides of his and his partner's faces.]
The Mask: That's gotta hurt! [makes weird sound then whizzes off.]
Kellaway: GET HIM! [discovers he's now handcuffed to Doyle.] Doyle?Doyle: Aw, come on, Lieutenant. It's not all your fault. Something would turn up.
Kellaway: Sure, Stanley Ipkiss is gonna fall right into my lap. [falls when Stanley falls on him, then tears the tape off Stanley's mouth]
Stanley Ipkiss: OW!
Kellaway: Ipkiss!
Stanley Ipkiss: Wait, I can explain everything!
Kellaway: Oh, yeah? You can explain everything? [finds a green rubber mask] Explain this.
Stanley Ipkiss: Um...
Kellaway: Get him up!Kellaway: Freeze! [The Mask literally freezes] Put your hands up!
The Mask: [with teeth clenched] But you told me to freeze!
Kellaway: All right, all right, un-freeze. [The Mask defrosts and falls to the ground] You're under arrest.
The Mask: [Desperate voice] No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man! [gets up, in normal voice] All right, I confess! I did it, ya hear? And I'm glad, glad I tell ya! [begs on the ground] What are they gonna do to me, Sarge? What are they gonna do?!
Kellaway: [slaps handcuffs on The Mask] Sorry, son, that's not my department. Search him! [The Mask is pulled up and his [endless] pockets are searched]
The Mask: Ow! Where's a camcorder when ya need one? [snorty laugh][Dorian has just donned the Mask]
Dorian Tyrell: What a rush!
Eddie: Whoa, boss! You OK?
Dorian Tyrell: Better than ever, you idiot.
Eddie: What do we do with Ipkiss?
Dorian Tyrell: The police are looking for The Mask. So we'll give them The Mask. (He laughs evilly)Orlando: [delivering Stanley] Hey, boss. Look who decide to crash the party.
Stanley: Hey, Dorian. How's it going?
Dorian Tyrell: Bring him up here!
Tina: Dorian, wait. No!
Dorian: Ugh, there's no time for last request.
Tina: But all I wanted was a kiss.
Dorian: A kiss?
Tina: Just one last kiss?
Eddie: Dorian, I can't shut this thing off.
Dorian Tyrell: There is always time for one last kiss!
[Prepares to kiss Tina demonically]
Tina: No. I want it to be with the real Dorian. The one I used to love. No one's ever kissed me like Dorian Tyrell.
Eddie: [shouting] Romeo, this whole place is gonna blow any minute!
Dorian Tyrell: [yells; eyes glow red] JUST WAIT!...I've decided...[Dorian removes mask and reverts to his human self] to give her one last thrill.
[Dorian and Tina kiss passionately. Tina takes advantage of distraction to kick mask towards Stanley]Dorian Tyrell: I'm gonna take you apart! [he punches Stanley]
Stanley Ipkiss: Well, I hope you can enjoy the victory with one friggin' eye! [he pokes Dorian in the eye and punches him across the face][Kellaway and Doyle attempt a 2nd arrest on Stanley; bumps into Mayor Tilton]
Kellaway: Watch it, chunky! [Realizes] Mayor Tilton, I'm so....
Mayor Tilton: What the hell's going on, Kellaway?
Kellaway: That guy is the Mask.
Mayor Tilton: No, Dorian Tyrell was the Mask. I saw it with my own eyes. This young man just saved our lives.
Charlie: With a little help from his friends.Mr. Dickey: Ipkiss, we have a crisis on our hands here and you stroll in over an hour late? If I have to put up with your slovenly behavior...
Stanley: BACK OFF, Monkey Boy, before I tell your daddy you're running this place like it's your own personal piggy bank. Or maybe we should call the IRS, and see if we can arrange a little vacation for you at Club FED!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Dickey:[shocked from being told off by his employee] That'll be all, Ipkiss.

== Taglines ==
From zero to hero.

== Cast ==
Jim Carrey as Stanley Ipkiss / The Mask
Peter Riegert as Lt. Mitch Kellaway
Peter Greene as Dorian Tyrell
Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt
Richard Jeni as Charlie Schumaker
Orestes Matacena as Niko
Cameron Diaz as Tina Carlyle
Jim Doughan as Detective Doyle
Jeremy Roberts as Bobby the Bouncer
Ben Stein as Dr. Arthur Neuman
Ivory Ocean as Mitchell Tilton
Reginald E. Cathey as Freeze
William Daniel Mielcarek as Doc
Denis Forest as Sweety Eddy
Eamonn Roche as Mr. Dickey
Nancy Fish as Mrs. Peenman
Nils Allen Stewart as Orlando
Blake Clark as Murray
Garret T. Sato as One of Tyrell's thugs

== External links ==

The Mask quotes at the Internet Movie Database