This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the third official incarnation of The Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Third Doctor was played by Jon Pertwee.
== Recurring phrases ==
"Oh, good grief.""Reverse the polarity.""Now listen to me."
== Season 7 ==
=== Spearhead from Space [7.1] ===
(3 January - 24 January 1970)Liz Shaw: You really believe in a man who has helped to save the world twice, with the power to change his physical appearance? An alien who travels though time and space--in a police box?!?Forbes: Gave us no warning, sir.
Munro: How could he with his mouth taped?Doctor Henderson: Doctor Lomax, I took that blood sample from an adult male patient. Now you tell me that it's not human blood! I don't know if that makes me a doctor or a vet. But it's still my job to look after him.Doctor Henderson: How are you feeling?
The Doctor: Shoes.The Doctor: [Upon beholding his changed appearance in a looking-glass] Oh. Oh, no! That's not me at all!The Doctor: All right, all right, I suppose you want to see my pass? Yes, well, I haven't got one. And I'm not going to tell you my name, either. Now you just tell Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart that I want to see him. Well, don't just stand there arguing with me, man! Get on with it!Channing: No one can destroy the Nestenes!The Doctor: My goodness, no. Don't you realise that when I was stranded on this little planet of yours, I had nothing but these clothes that I... Oh, my goodness!
Liz: What is it, Doctor?
The Doctor: Well, I've just realised. I don't even own these. I borrowed them from the hospital. And there's that car, too. Yes, you know, I took to that car. It had character.
Brigadier: No, Doctor. That car must be returned to its owner.
Doctor: Must it? Yes, yes, I suppose it must. Still, there's no reason why you couldn't find me something similar, is there? I mean, it could persuade me to stay, you know.
Brigadier: Oh, very well.
Doctor: Good. When can we go and choose it?
Brigadier: Not yet. I must arrange for a full set of papers first. By the way, I've just realised. I don't even know your name.
Doctor: Smith. Doctor John Smith.
=== Doctor Who and the Silurians [7.2] ===
(31 January - 14 March 1970)The Doctor: My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere, particularly not forthwith.The Doctor: But I still don't understand why you stayed down here.
Okdel: The hibernation mechanism was faulty. It did not function until a new energy source appeared.
The Doctor: The power station at the research centre?
Okdel: Yes. We are now able to drain off its energy. But soon we shall revive our civilisation, and reclaim the Earth for ourselves.
The Doctor: No, you mustn't! Otherwise there'll be the most terrible war! But if you trust me, I think I can persuade the humans that you are prepared to live with them on this planet in peace.
Okdel: There is not room for both civilisations.
The Doctor: Oh yes, I think there is. You see, your people are used to living in extreme heat, whereas these areas on Earth are of little interest to man. I believe, with your advanced technology, that you could build cities in parts of the world that man has hitherto completely ignored.
Okdel: [pauses in thought for a moment] Would your people agree to this?
The Doctor: Well, they're not my people. But I think I could convince them, on the condition that you release those trapped men first.
Okdel: Those apes have only shown hostility to us!
The Doctor: And you to them! Someone has to make a move, otherwise this whole thing will end up in complete catastrophe.Morka: Why have you released the apes?!
Okdel: I have decided that it is possible for the two species to live together on this planet.
Morka: This planet is ours!
Okdel: This other species has developed its own civilisation. We must accept them as equals.
Morka: I disagree! [turns to leave, but then turns back to face Okdel] We must destroy them! [storms off]
=== The Ambassadors of Death [7.3] ===
(21 March - 2 May 1970)Recording of Van Lyden: (when spoken to) Hello space control. This is Recovery 7. Can you clear us for reentry. We are not cleared for reentry.
=== Inferno [7.4] ===
(9 May - 20 June 1970)The Doctor: Well, I'll tell you something that should be of vital interest to you.
Professor Stahlman: And what's that?
The Doctor: That you, Sir, are a NITWIT!The Doctor: So, free will is not an illusion after all.The Doctor: But I don't exist in your world!
Brigade Leader: (Sarcastically) Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you.The Doctor: Mind you, I'm not wild about computers myself, but they are a tool. If you have a tool, it's stupid not to use it.
== Season 8 ==
=== Terror of the Autons [8.1] ===
(2 January - 23 January 1971)The Doctor: [working on his TARDIS console, singing] I don't want to set the world on fire... [BANG! Smoke comes out of the TARDIS door, followed by the Doctor carrying a piece of dematerialization mechanism. He goes to the lab bench and places it in a device clearly designed to hold the three legged item. There is a knock at the door.] Not today, thank you.The Doctor: You know Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.Luigi Rossini: Who the heck are you? Well?
Stranger: I am usually referred to as The Master!
Luigi Rossini: Oh? Is that so?
Stranger: Universally!Mr. McDermott: Mister Farrel tells me you've changed the mix. What right have you got to interfere? Do you know you've ruined a whole day's production?
The Master: You call this ruined?
[It's a big black shiny lump of plastic]
Mr. McDermott: Well, it's the wrong color and the wrong texture. Of course it's ruined!
The Master: You don't appreciate its full potential, do you?
Mr. McDermott: Look and I don't want to. It doesn't meet our specification.
The Master: This plastic has got unique properties, Mister McDermott. Allow me to demonstrate. [Throws the plastic on the floor and snaps his fingers]
[The plastic slowly unfolds itself into an inflated armchair]
Mr. McDermott: It's unique, right enough. So, er, you're a magician as well as a Colonel, eh?
The Master: I am many things!The Doctor: Months of delicate hard work and now look at it, you ham-fisted bun vendor!Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Nonsense, what you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw herself so often remarked, is someone to pass you your test tubes, and to tell you how brilliant you are.Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: This thing actually attacked you?
Jo Grant: It was going to if Mike hadn't shot it. It was horrible.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Seems as though you may be right, Doctor.
The Doctor: I usually am.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Well, it's dead enough now.
The Doctor: Jo, where were you when this thing started moving?
Jo: I was on the telephone.
The Doctor: And what about you, Captain Yates?
Mike Yates: I wasn't here, I'd just gone out to, uh, fetch a tin of cocoa.
The Doctor: Yes, well something must have-[pause] Fetch a tin of what?
Mike Yates: Cocoa.
The Doctor: Are you trying to tell me that you were going to make cocoa in my lab?!
Mike Yates: That was the general idea. I'm sorry, Doctor.The Doctor: Help, Brigadier! HELP!The Doctor: The Nestenes can put life into anything made of plastic. Anything at all.Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: [Looking for the Doctor and Jo who are chased by 2 autons disguised as policemen] Doctor? Miss Grant?
The Doctor: Get down man! Get down!
[The still-masked auton shoots at the Brigadier, and the blast knocks him down. The second auton comes up behind the soldier]
Yates: Look out!
[Too late. The soldier dies. Yates and the Brigadier take pot shots at their assailants]
The Doctor: They're Autons! Bullets can't stop them!
=== The Mind of Evil [8.2] ===
30 January–6 March 1971)
Jo Grant: (after the Doctor tells her about the Thunderbolt missile) But what's it got to do with The Master?
The Doctor: Everything. He's hoping to steal it.
=== The Claws of Axos [8.3] ===
(13 March - 3 April 1971)The Doctor: Pure mathematics cannot lie!The Doctor: Obviously the Time Lords have programmed the TARDIS always to return to Earth. It seems that I am some kind of a galactic yo-yo![On how to survive a nuclear blast.]
The Master: You could take the usual precautions...sticky tape on the windows, that sort of thing.
=== The Dæmons [8.5] ===
(22 May - 19 June 1971)Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Jenkins...chap with wings there, five rounds, rapid!The Master: I only need two things. Your submission and your obedience to MY WILL!The Doctor: Jo, did you fail Latin as well as science?
== Season 9 ==
=== Day of the Daleks [9.1] ===
(1 January - 22 January 1972)Jo: Doctor, I thought the TARDIS was working again?
The Doctor: What gave you that idea?
Jo: Well, being dragged 500 years into the future, for example? I mean, all that business with the miners and the colonists.
The Doctor: My dear Jo, the TARDIS was working then because it was being operated under remote control by the High Council of the Time Lords.
Jo: Well, if it worked for them-
The Doctor: I don't want it to work for them: I want it to work for me. No one's going to turn me into an interplanetary puppet.Future Doctor: Yes, of course, I remember now. [to Jo] Look, don't worry, my dear. I know you're alarmed, but you needn't be.
The Doctor: Yes, well, I think that should do it. Why on Earth I never realised that- Oh no, what are you doing here?
Future Doctor: Well, I'm not here, don't worry. Well....That is, in the sense, I am here, but, er....you are not there. It's a bit difficult to explain, really...
The Doctor: This won't do at all. We can't have two of us running about.
Future Doctor: Yes, well, don't worry! It will all sort itself... [disappears in a flash of light]Interrogator: You're a spy!
The Doctor: Am I? Who am I spying for?
Interrogator: I'm asking the questions. I repeat, you're a spy!
The Doctor: That wasn't a question. That was a statement.
Interrogator: Careful, our friends here don't get much fun. [Gestures to the thuggish Ogron security guards.]
The Doctor: Poor fellows. Sorry I can't oblige them at the moment, I'm not in the mood for games.
=== The Curse of Peladon [9.2] ===
(29 January - 19 February 1972)King Peladon: Peladon welcomes the delegate from Alpha Centauri.
Alpha Centauri: As a member of the preliminary assessment commission, I have great hopes that your planet will be acceptable as a candidate for the Galactic Federation.
King Peladon: That is my firm intention.
=== The Sea Devils [9.3] ===
(26 February - 1 April 1972)Robbins: Mister Trenchard paid me to bring you out here and take you back. You want to go over to the naval base, then you make your own arrangements.
The Doctor: Yes, well, you're probably perfectly right. Look, er, I wonder whether you'd like to go and see what's happening to my young friend? She said she was going to buy some picture postcards. [Holds up a note of the realm]
Robbins: I don't mind.
The Doctor: I'd go myself, only my bad leg's playing me up a bit. The Crimea, you know.
Robbins: [Confused] I see. Crimea?
The Doctor: Oh, Gallipoli? El Alamein? Does it really matter?
Robbins: I reckon not.[The Master is watching the episode of The Clangers where the probe has landed on their planet. The Master whistles along with the puppets as Trenchard enters]
Trenchard: What are you watching?
The Master: It seems to be a rather interesting extraterrestrial life form.
Trenchard: [looks over at the TV] Only puppets, you know? For children.
The Master: Oh. [Turns off the TV]Hickman: How much to see you?
Clark: A fiver.
Clark: Full house, kings on twos.
Hickman: [sarcastic] Oh, that's marvelous, innit? Just marvelous.
Clark: Come on, it's not your life savings, it's only a couple of quid. I'll give you a chance to get your own back.
Hickman: Ah, forget it.
Clark: What's the matter with you?
Hickman: I don't know. Being stuck out here, I suppose.
Clark: It's not so bad. Are you sure you don't want another game?
Hickman: Do you know, there's something funny about this place.
Clark: [not believing him] Share the joke.
Hickman: Well, the place is deserted, right?
Hickman: Just the two of us on maintenance?
Hickman: Yet I keep getting the feeling I'm being watched.
[Possibly by the owner of the scaly hand reaching over a hatch ledge]Jo Grant: What do you want to do? Listen to Night Ride? (A popular BBC Radio 2 show)Chief Sea Devil: This is our planet. My people ruled the Earth when man was only an ape.The Doctor: I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.
=== The Time Monster [9.5] ===
(20 May - 24 June 1972)Brigadier: In any case, Doctor, every section of UNIT now has the search for the Master written into standing orders.
The Doctor: Priority Z one hundred and forty four, I suppose?
Brigadier: Priority A one, actually.
Doctor: Look, I tell you, Brigadier, there is grave danger.
Brigadier: Danger of what, for heavens sake?
Doctor: Well, I'm not sure, but in my dream I quite clearly saw...
Brigadier: You know, if this got out, you'd be the laughing stock of UNIT. A dream. Really, Doctor, you'll be consulting the entrails of a sheep next. [Jo laughs][The Doctor and Jo are driving along a road in Bessie]
Jo: [looking at the sky] It's a doomy old day. I mean, just look at that sky. Just look at it.
The Doctor: Do stop wiffling, Jo, there's a good girl. We're not out on a pleasure jaunt, you know?
Jo: Sorry, Doctor.
The Doctor: Only, if it is the Master, we can't run the risk of losing him. You just keep your eye on the time sensor.
Jo: Right. [the Time Sensor promptly starts working] Doctor?
The Doctor: Yeah?
Jo: It's working again.
The Doctor: [stops Bessie] What's the bearing?
Jo: Er, oh seven four, and, er, sixteen point three nine miles away.
The Doctor: Well, that's Venusian miles. In Earth miles, that's be about seventy two point seven nine. Let's take a look at the map. [pulls up the map] Well, we're about here. That should put us somewhere around there. A village called Wootton.
Jo: Wootton? Well, that's where the Brigadier and Sergeant Benton are.
The Doctor: TOM-TIT? If the Master's behind that. What time's the demonstration?
Jo: 2 o'clock.
The Doctor: We've got to stop it. Hang on tight, Jo. [puts Bessie into Super Drive and off they rocket]Benton: Put your hands in the air, both of you. Get them up. Now turn around slowly. Slowly.
The Master: Well, well, well. The resourceful Sergeant Benton.
Benton: You didn't really think you could fool me with a fake telephone call, did you? It's the oldest trick in the book.
The Master: I underestimated you, Sergeant. How did you know?
Benton: Simple. The Brigadier's not in the habit of calling Sergeants "my dear fellow".
The Master: Ah. The tribal taboos of army etiquette. I find it difficult to identify with such primitive absurdities.
Benton: Yes, well, primitive or not, mate, you're still in the soup without a ladle, aren't you.
The Master: Now, Sergeant, you must let me explain.
Benton: Keep back! Keep back.
The Master: Yes, of course.
Benton: Keep back.
The Master: Of course, Sergeant. You see, Sergeant Benton, the whole point is that... Doctor! What a very timely...
[Benton looks behind him and the Master grabs his gun arm, making him drop the pistol and throws him to the floor. Benton hits his head against a filing cabinet and is out for the count]
The Master: You're wrong, Sergeant Benton! That is the oldest trick in the book![Jo is wearing a Minoan dress and wig and is admiring herself in a Cheval mirror]
Jo: Wow, what a groovy dress. Do you reckon it'll get mum's approval?
Lakis: Mum? Oh, you mean Queen Galleia?
Jo: Yeah, guess so. [giggles]
Jo: Anyway, let's go and give her a preview. [walks to the door]
Lakis: No, I'm sorry. She does not wish to be disturbed. The Lord Master is with her.
Jo: Is he now?
Lakis: They speak of the sacred mysteries.
Jo: Kronos and all that bit?
Lakis: It is forbidden.
Jo: But that is what they're on about?
Jo: Right. [begins to open the door]
Lakis: [stops Jo] No, you mustn't go in! You mustn't!
Jo: Look, I'll be as quiet as a... Do they have Mice in Atlantis?
Jo: Well, that's what I'll be as quiet as. An Atlantean Mouse, OK? [opens the door a little]Guard: Inside, old man! [throws Dalios into the cell with the Doctor and Jo]
Dalios: I demand to be taken to the Lady Galleia!
Guard: You'll do as you're told.
Dalios: How dare you lay your hands on me! I shall see the Queen! Out of my way, slave!
[Dalios raises his hand and the guard hits him with his trident. Dalios falls and the guard locks the door again]
The Doctor: Dalios! Dalios!
Dalios: Who would have thought it. My sweet queen.
The Doctor: Is the Master responsible for this?
Dalios: Aye, but tis no matter. Come closer.
The Doctor: What is it?
Dalios: There's so little time. So little. I tell you the vision of a dying man. Atlantis was doomed. You are a true philosopher. The world must be, must be saved. And you are the one to do it. The only one. Who'd have thought it? My lovely Galleia. [dies in Jo's lap]
The Doctor: Dalios! We won't fail you, Dalios.Brigadier: Right, stand still, everyone! Er, where's the Master?
The Doctor: A very good question, Brigadier.
Brigadier: Doctor, glad to see you're back. Miss Grant, what on Earth are you doing in that extraordinary get-up? And where, for heaven's sake, is Sergeant Benton!?
Hyde: [to Ruth] The Baby! We forgot the Baby!
Benton: [stands up, no longer a baby, but still undressed] Would somebody please mind telling me exactly what's happening around here?
== Season 10 ==
=== The Three Doctors [10.1] ===
(30 December 1972 - 20 January 1973) Brigadier: Is there anything I can do?
Third Doctor: Yes, pass me a silicon rod. [Stirs cup of tea with it]
Brigadier: I meant is there anything UNIT can do about this space lightning business?Tyler: I can manage now, thank you.
Brigadier: I'm delighted to hear it. Make yourself at home. We're only supposed to be a top secret security establishment(!) Liberty Hall, Dr. Tyler. Liberty Hall!Third Doctor: Jo, it's all quite simple - I am he and he is me!
Jo Grant: And we are all together, coo coo cachoo?
Both Doctors: What?
Jo Grant: It's a song by The Beatles.
Second Doctor: Really? How does it go? [Brings recorder to his lips]
Third Doctor: Oh, please be quiet!First Doctor: [As he appears on the TARDIS's television screen] Ah, there you are! I seem to be stuck up here. [He examines the Second and Third Doctors.] So you're my replacements. [They smile at him.] Humph. A dandy and a clown. [They appear insulted.] Have you done anything?
Second Doctor: Uh, well we've assessed the situation-
First Doctor: Just as I thought! [Chuckles] Nothing.
Third Doctor: Well it's not easy you know.
Second Doctor: It's not as if we know what that stuff is.
Third Doctor: No.
First Doctor: Then I'll tell you. It's a time bridge.
Second Doctor: It's a what?
Third Doctor: I see!
First Doctor: Now what's a bridge for, eh?
Second Doctor: Well. Um.
Third Doctor: Crossing?
First Doctor: Right! So now dilly-dallying and cross it.[The First Doctor then starts to fade away from them]
Second Doctor: No! No wait!
Third Doctor: You faded him again!
Second Doctor: I did not fade him. You saw him!
Third Doctor: Yes, you certainly did.
Jo Grant: I hate to ask, but who was that?
Second and Third Doctor: Me [The Doctors look at each other] Me!Second Doctor: At the moment, they're far from being all powerful. That's why it's been left up to me and me and me!Second Doctor: Keep it confused, feed it with useless information. I wonder if I have a television set here somewhere.Brigadier: I've explained all that. You're his assistant.
Second Doctor: His WHAT??Second Doctor: But I've just set this up! I've got to confuse it!Brigadier: (after seeing the First Doctor on the screen) Who was that?
Second Doctor: I'm afraid you wouldn't believe me if I told you![The doctor, Jo and Dr. Tyler are led into the throne room of Omega's palace]
Jo Grant: It's fabulous!
Third Doctor: Yes, most impressive, I must admit that.
Dr. Tyler: Almost worth the trip just to see this place.
[A figure appears at the top of the stairs]
Jo Grant: Yes, but who brought us here, and why?
Omega: I did! I am the one who brought you here!
Third Doctor: Who are you?
Omega: In the legends of your people, I am called Omega!
Third Doctor: Omega? But that's impossible! Omega was destroyed!
Omega: No, brother Time lord. I was not destroyed, as you can see! [Emerges from the shadows]Third Doctor: All my life I've known of you and honored you as our greatest hero.
Omega: A hero?!? I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GOD!!!Brigadier:Three of them, eh? I didn't know when I was well off.[Omega removes his mask to reveal that there's nothing left of him]
Third Doctor: You exist only because your will insists that you exist. Your will is all that is left of you.
[Omega puts his mask back on and doubles over with an anguished howl]
Omega: It is not true. I am Omega, creator of this world! And I can also destroy! Therefore I must exist!
Second Doctor: But don't you see? You can only exist here!
Omega: If I exist only by my will, then my will is to destroy, and all things shall be destroyed! All things! All things!
[The palace begins to shake. Omega wails in despair as the Doctors make their escape]
Omega: All things! All things!
Second Doctor: I told you he'd got no self control!
Third Doctor: Come on, out!(The Second Doctor shows Omega the force field generator, his recorder in the middle of the generator)
Omega: What is this childish contraption?!
Second Doctor: The only freedom you can ever have. Take it.
[Omega does nothing]
Second Doctor: Take it, Omega!
[Both Doctors close their eyes to try and focus their will against Omega's; Omega just laughs]
Third Doctor: TAKE IT!
Omega: COMMANDS! YOU COMMAND ME?! THIS IS MY WORLD! I COMMAND! AND YOU PESTER ME WITH TRINKETS?!?
[Omega knocks the force field generator out of the Doctor's hands]
Second Doctor: RUN!!!
[The recorder hits the ground; Omega's universe is soon gone in a flash of light]
=== Carnival of Monsters [10.2] ===
Pletrac: The function of this tribunal is to keep this planet clean. This Tellurian creature comes from outside our solar system and is a possible carrier of contagion. Furthermore the creature may be hostile.
The Doctor: Would you kindly stop referring to me as "the creature", sir. Or I may well become exceedingly hostile!
=== Frontier in Space [10.3] ===
(24 February - 31 March 1973)The Doctor: Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I've ever encountered.The Master: Nobody could be more devoted to the cause of peace than I! As a commissioner of Earth's Interplanetary Police, I have devoted my life to the cause of law and order; And law and order can only exist in a time of peace.
The Doctor: Are you feeling all right, old chap?
=== Planet of the Daleks [10.4] ===
(7 April - 12 May 1973)The Doctor: Courage isn't just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.The Doctor: Wait! Somebody's still in there.
Dalek: Save for interrogation! Disable!
[The Dalek fires at the Doctor. The Doctor yells in pain, and collapses on the ground]
Dalek: Proceed as ordered!Taron: How deep are we going?
The Doctor: Down to the arsenal.
Codal: And what then? One bomb against an army of Daleks?
The Doctor: He's right, you know. One bomb won't destroy them all. The most we can hope for is to stop that army getting into action.Dalek: Report!
Dalek 2: Message from command spacecraft. The Dalek Supreme will touch down on Spiridon shortly. He will assume total command of all operations on this planet.
Dalek 2: Dalek command has identified the leading alien. The one who is not a Thal.
Dalek: Who is he?
Dalek 2: He is the one known as the Doctor, the greatest enemy of the Daleks.
Dalek: He has much knowledge that would be of value to us. He must be captured alive for interrogation by the Dalek Supreme.Taron: Doctor, we'd never have succeeded without all your help. I wish there was some way of thanking you.
The Doctor: As a matter of fact, there is.
Rebec: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: Throughout history, you Thals have always been known as one of the most peace-loving races in the galaxy.
Taron: I hope we always will be.
The Doctor: Yes, that's what I mean. When you get back to Skaro, you'll all be national heroes. Everybody'll want to hear about your adventures.
Taron: Of course.
The Doctor: So be careful how you tell that story, will you? Don't glamourise it. Don't make war sound like an exciting and thrilling game.
Taron: [smiles] I understand.
The Doctor: Tell them about the members of your mission that will not be returning. Like Maro, Vaber and Marat. Tell them about the fear. Otherwise your people might relish the idea of war. We don't want that.Dalek Supreme: Order space transporters to assemble and await landing orders.
Dalek: I obey.
Dalek Supreme: [faces the Dalek Leader] The action of the aliens has caused considerable disruption of operations on this planet!
Dalek Leader: This was a matter beyond my control!
Dalek Supreme: Your orders were to exterminate them!
Dalek Leader: It has not been possible! We have been unable to use the Bacteria Bomb!
Dalek Supreme: The responsibility was yours! You have failed! The Supreme Council does not accept Failure! [kills the Dalek Leader]Dalek Supreme: Preparations will begin at once to free our army from the Ice. We have been delayed, not defeated. The Daleks are never defeated!The Doctor: [referring to the monitor's display] Jo, look. That's Skaro.
The Doctor: Any regrets?
Jo: Not really...
The Doctor: Jo... That's only one little world. There's so many hundreds of others to see.
Jo: There's only one little world I want to see right now. [presses a few buttons on the TARDIS console] That one.
The Doctor: That one? But Jo, that's Earth.
Jo: That's right, Doctor. Home.
The Doctor: Home it is, Miss Grant.
=== The Green Death [10.5] ===
(19 May 1973 - 23 June 1973)Bert: Oh, better save the lamps, eh?
Jo: Right, OK.
[The lamp goes off, but it doesn't go completely dark. There's a green tinge to everything]
Jo: Bert? How can light get down here?
Bert: Well, it can't.
Jo: Then how can I see you?
Bert: Hey, that's funny.
Jo: What's that smell? It's like something rotting!
Bert: Hey, look.
[A green trickle of slime is running down the wall]
Jo: Ugh, that smell! What is it?
Bert: I've never seen anything like it!
Jo: I wouldn't touch--
Bert: Agh! It burns!Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Well, I never thought I'd fire in anger at a dratted caterpillar, but...
[He does. We hear the bullets ricochet off the maggot's body]
The Doctor: No, not a chance, Brigadier. Thick chitinous plates protecting the whole body surface. It's armour plated.Stevens: In the end, we all want the same thing: an ordered society, with everyone happy and well fed...
The Doctor: ...Global Chemicals taking all the profits.
Stevens: What's best for Global Chemicals is best for the world, is best for you.
The Doctor: Such as a little touch of brainwashing?
Stevens: Freedom from fear, freedom from pain...
The Doctor: ...freedom from freedom.The Doctor: You got onto your uncle at United Nations, didn't you?
Jo: It's only the second time I've ever asked him for anything.
The Doctor: Yes, and look where the first time got you.
Jo: You don't mind, do you?
The Doctor: Mind? He might even be able to turn you into a scientist.
Jo: Don't go too far away, will you? And if you do, come back and see us sometime.
The Doctor: Yes.
Jo: Thank you. Lovely.
The Doctor: Save me a piece of wedding cake.
The Doctor: Oh, I nearly forgot. Your wedding present. [Gives her the blue Metabelis crystal]
Jo: It's beautiful. Thank you, Doctor.
Cliff Jones: Hey, Jo, come and drink a toast to the happy couple.
Jo: But that's us!
Cliff Jones: Aye, so it is. Don't worry, Doctor. I'll look after her.BOSS: How kind of you to drop in, Doctor. I've been looking forward to having a little chat with you.
The Doctor: Who are you? Where are you?
BOSS: [laughs] You disappoint me, Doctor. I should have thought you'd have guessed. I am the boss. I'm all around you.
[The Doctor turns around to see a red circular screen, with wavy lines appearing as the BOSS speaks]
BOSS: Exactly. I am the computer.BOSS: Well, Doctor, have you nothing to say?
The Doctor: (Derisively.) Why should I want to talk to a machine?(He starts to wander around the room as BOSS gives out a short laugh.)
BOSS: Oh really, Doctor! As far as I can gather from your computer record at UNIT, the difficult thing is to stop you talking. (Laughs.) No, no, no, you won't provoke me so easily.
The Doctor: You're still a machine.
BOSS: And you? And your human friends? Aren't you machines - inefficient and organic machines?
The Doctor: No.
The Doctor: (Thinks.) Then yes.(He wanders across to the far side of the room to look at one particular bank.)
The Doctor: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are more than machines.
BOSS: Ah! Thank you - because in that case, so am I.
The Doctor: What are you then?
BOSS: I am the first Biomorphic Organisational Systems Supervisor.
The Doctor: (Spells.) B, O, double S - the BOSS!
The Doctor: (Amused.) Ha!(He wanders over to another area of the room.)
BOSS: Ah! My designers also found it amusing. I find it suitable.
The Doctor: You're still nothing but a gigantic adding machine like any other computer.
BOSS: Oh no! No, no, no, no - I am the only computer ever to be linked to a human brain.
The Doctor: Stevens?
BOSS: Yes - Stevens! And I learned from him that secret of human creativity is inefficiency.(The Doctor starts to leaf through a pile of computer printouts.)
BOSS: The human brain is a very poor computer indeed. It makes illogical guesses which turn out to be more logical than logic itself.
The Doctor: Yes, infuriating, isn't it?
BOSS: I programmed Stevens to programme me to be inefficient. I am now self-controlling, I am self-sufficient, I am the greatest being this planet has ever seen - I am the BOSS!
The Doctor: Today Llanfairfach, tomorrow the world, eh?
BOSS: How well you understand me, Doctor.
The Doctor: A machine - a megalomaniac machine...(He throws the pile of papers into the air.)But still a machine!
BOSS: And as such, uniquely fitted to carry out my prime directive.
The Doctor: And that is?
BOSS: Efficiency, productivity and profit for Global Chemicals, of course. Nothing and nobody can be allowed to stand in the way of that! Not even you, Doctor...
== Season 11 ==
=== The Time Warrior [11.1] ===
(15 December 1973 - 5 January 1974)The Doctor: A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.Sarah Jane: [the Doctor has ferreted out Sarah Jane's identity] Are you going to give me away, Doctor?
The Doctor: I don't think so.
Sarah Jane: [suddenly cheering] Why not?
The Doctor: [leans back, tents his fingers] Well, you can make yourself useful. We need someone around here to make the coffee.
Sarah Jane: [incensed] If you think I'm going to spend my time making cups of coffee for you...
[she halts as the Doctor leaps out of his chair. Reubish is scribbling something in chalk on the side of the TARDIS]
The Doctor: Professor! Would you kindly desist? This isn't a blackboard, you know!
[begins to unlock the TARDIS door]
Professor Rubeish: Oh, I do beg your pardon, Doctor. I was just trying to prove...
Sarah Jane: What are you going to do in there?
The Doctor: [opens the TARDIS door] Make myself a cup of coffee. Good day to you.Linx: Ah, I understand. You have a primary and a secondary reproductive cycle. [beat] It is an inefficient system, you should change it.Sarah Jane: You're serious, aren't you?
The Doctor: About what I do? Yes, not necessarily the way I do it.Irongron: By heavens, Bloodaxe, 'tis like a tin tadpole - you cut off its head, and yet it wriggles!
=== Invasion of the Dinosaurs [11.2] ===
(12 January - 16 February 1974)General Finch: Waiting for this mysterious scientific advisor of yours to turn up?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: That's right, sir.
General Finch: [Sarcastically] I suppose he'll just materialize out of thin air.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Very probably.Soldier: It's coming this way, sir!
The Doctor: Good grief.... It's a Stegosaurus!
=== Death to the Daleks [11.3] ===
(23 February - 16 March 1974)[Railton leads the five people and three Daleks. In a dried river bed, the Doctor spots soil tumbling down the deep sides. Everyone stops and looks around. Suddenly, Railton is shot in the back by an arrow]
The Doctor: Take cover!
Dalek: Locate the enemy! Locate the enemy!
[As the Dalek repeatedly cries "Locate", Jill runs to Railton, but he is dead. Exxilons appear on the skyline as the men find a dug-out depression to hide]
Jill: Help me with him! Help me!
The Doctor: It's no good, we can't help him.
Jill: But please, we can't leave him here!
[More arrows thud into the ground nearby]
The Doctor: Quick, come on! Out, come on!Sarah Jane: Doctor! We were just playing the main part in a sacrificial ceremony, weren't we?
The Doctor: Well, that seemed to be the general idea, yes.
Sarah Jane: Well, how are they going to sacrifice us just by dumping us down here?
The Doctor: Yes, I knew that thought would occur to you, sooner or later.
Sarah Jane: You've got an idea, haven't you?
The Doctor: Yes. And it's not one of my favorites. In fact, I don't care for it at all.
Sarah Jane: Well, you might as well share it.
The Doctor: Oh, very well. I think they expect that sacrifice to be completed by something else. Something that lives down this tunnel.
[And right on cue comes a strange warbling sort of roar]
Sarah Jane: Next time you get an idea, keep it to yourself, will you?[The Doctor and Sarah Jane hear another strange, mechanical roaring sound]
Sarah Jane: That sounded awfully close.
The Doctor: Some sort of subterranean wind effect, I should think.
Sarah Jane: Who are you kidding?
The Doctor: Myself, chiefly.
[Two Daleks enter the tunnel. As the Doctor and Sarah walk on, something similar to an Exxilon follows them. The roar again]
Sarah Jane: I just heard your wind effect gnashing its teeth. Well, which way now?
The Doctor: I think I'll make a short reconnaissance down this tunnel here. Alone.Sarah Jane: [pointing] Doctor! Look! Look at the city!
[They watch as the now powerless city gives in to the ravages of time and rapidly decays into a pile of rubble]
The Doctor: It's rather a pity, in a way...now the universe is down to 699 wonders.Dalek: Human female has escaped. I have failed! Female prisoner has escaped! I HAVE FAILED I HAVE FAILED SELF-DESTRUCT! I HAVE FAILED DESTRUCT I HAVE FAILED! DESTRUCT! FAILED! FAILED! FAILED! AYYYAYYAyyayyayyayyayyayyyyaaa.... [shuts down entirely]Dalek: [attacked by Exxilon mutants] Alert! Alert! Evacuate! Evacuate! Evacuate! Retire to city entrance! Faster! Faster! I will cover you! I will cover you! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!
=== The Monster of Peladon [11.4] ===
(23 March - 27 April 1974)The Doctor: The citadel of Peladon, Sarah. One of the most interesting and-
Sarah Jane: Oh no it isn't - is it, Doctor?
The Doctor: Well, no, not exactly.
Sarah Jane: No, it's not your precious citadel at all. It's another rotten gloomy old tunnel!
The Doctor: Yes, well, with the scanner still on the blink, there was no way I could really check.
Sarah Jane: There's more than the scanner on the blink.Thalira: It would be different if I was a man. But I'm only a girl.
Sarah Jane: Now just a minute! There's nothing "only" about being a girl, your Majesty.Azaxyr: Let us see what has emerged. [To Ortron] You say that the miners have rebelled against their proper rulers, but Gebek here says that the nobles have cheated them of their rights. You say that the Doctor here is a spy and a saboteur, but the ambassador says he is an old and valued friend. [To Gebek] You say that your God appears to you because he is angry, but the Doctor here is sure that the appearances are caused by trickery.
The Doctor: An excellent summing up, Commander Azaxyr. Do you know, you'd have made a very good judge.
Azaxyr: You forget, Doctor. I am your judge. Your jury and executioner too. Perhaps.
=== Planet of the Spiders [11.5] ===
(4 May - 8 June 1974)[Sarah and Mike climb through a window into the meditation center and get discovered by Tommy]
Tommy: Why are you climbing in the window?
Sarah Jane: Er, yes, yes, I...
Tommy: Play games?
Sarah Jane: That's right, just playing a little game.
Tommy: Tom likes games. Tom play game too?
Sarah Jane: Er, tell you what, Tom.
Tommy: Who are you?
Sarah Jane: My name is Sarah. Sarah Jane Smith.
Tommy: Tom likes you, Sarah Jane Smith.
Sarah Jane: Oh, you see, Tom, this game, it's called secrets. And it's a secret that I'm here. Shhh...
Sarah Jane: Yeah. So you won't tell anyone, will you?
Tommy: [sees Sarah's brooch] Ah, that's pretty.
Sarah Jane: Would you like it? [takes off her brooch and gives it to Tommy] Here, careful not to prick yourself.
Tommy: Oh, it's pretty. [leaves]
Mike: A shameless waste of feminine wiles. Come on.
Sarah Jane: Nonsense.
Mike: Shhh![The Doctor searches for Sarah on Metebelis Three and looks in a blue lit cave]
Sarah Jane's voice: Quickly, Doctor! Quickly!
Great One: Stop! If you come any further, Doctor, you will die. Oh, not at once, but gradually every cell in your body will be irretrievably damaged by the crystal rays, and I need you alive.
The Doctor: I heard the voice of my assistant!
Great One: Have no fear. She is quite safe.
The Doctor: But she called out to me for help!
Great One: [laughs] Like this?
Sarah Jane's voice: Doctor, help me! Come quickly!
[The Doctor walks forward]
Great One: No! It is an illusion! Listen!
Sarah Jane's voice: [singing] Half a pound of Tuppenny Rice, half a pound of Treacle. That's the way the Money goes.
The Doctor's voice: [singing] Goes the Weasel.
The Doctor: Who... Who are you?
Great One: They call me the Great One.
The Doctor: Why can't I see you?
Great One: You will, Doctor, you will, all in good time, but not until you bring me the crystal you stole from Metebelis.
The Doctor: But why do want that particular Crystal? It's no different from all the others.
Great One: Oh, but it is. You took the one last perfect crystal of Power. I searched all time and space for it! I must have it!
The Doctor: No! No, Never!
Great One: [laughs] You are proud, Little man. I see that I shall have to teach you to have respect. Round you go, Doctor.
The Doctor: No! No! No, I will not!
[Against his will, the Doctor turns left, stepping high, as the Great One laughs]
The Doctor: No! No, I will not! No!
[The Doctor has turned right round and back to where he started]
Great One: Is that fear I can feel in your mind? You are not accustomed to feeling frightened, are you, Doctor? You are very wise to be afraid of me. Go now. You must hurry back and fetch the crystal. I must have it, don't you understand? I must have it! I must! I must! I must! Go now. Go! Go! Go now!
[The Doctor runs back down the Rock Passage][Sarah realizes that Tommy's formerly low intelligence has been improved]
Sarah Jane: Tommy, you're normal! You're just like everybody else!
Tommy: Oh, I sincerely hope not.Barnes: We must separate. We must search. He can't have gone far.
Moss: No, no, I don't want anything more to do with it. I'm going.
[But the spider on his back has other ideas. He stiffens in pain]
Moss' spider: You will stay. You will do as I wish. You will obey me.
Moss: Yes, yes, anything. Stop it. Stop it![The Doctor returns to the Great One's cave with the crystal]
Great One: Stop! Have you brought the crystal to me?
The Doctor: Well, if I had not, why should I return?
Great One: Very well, very well, advance.
[The Doctor walks forward and sees the universe's biggest spider]
The Doctor: I brought you the crystal. Now why don't you just take it and leave the humans in peace, Both here and on Earth?
Great One: [laughs] You think I care for the puny plans of my subjects? Earth? One paltry planet among millions? Give me the crystal. I thirst for it! I ache for it!
The Doctor: Well, why is it so important to you?
Great One: You see this web of crystal above my head? It reproduces the pattern of my brain. One perfect crystal and it will be complete. That is the perfect crystal I need.
The Doctor: And then?
Great One: My every thought will resonate within the web and grow in power until, until, until [laughs]
The Doctor: But you've built a positive feedback circuit! You're trying to increase your mental powers to infinity!
Great One: Exactly! I shall be the ruler of the entire universe! [laughs]
The Doctor: Now listen to me. Listen. I haven't got much time left. What you're trying to do is impossible. If you complete that circuit, the energy will build up and up until it cannot be contained. You will destroy yourself!
Great One: You waste the little time remaining to you. Even now the cave of crystal is destroying the cells of your body. I will grant you one last favor. You may watch the completion of my triumph before you die!
[the crystal flies out of the Doctor's hands and becomes the keystone of the web lattice]
Great One: I am... complete! Now, I am... total... power! All praise to the Great One! [laughs]
The Doctor: Stop! Stop! Don't you see what's happened to you!?
Great One: All praise to the Great One! All praise to me! Bow down before me, planets! Bow down, Stars! Bow down, o Galaxies and worship the Great One! The me! The great, all powerful me! [starts to glow red] AAAAAHHH!! I HURRRRTT!! HELP MEE!! I'M BURNING, MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
[The Doctor runs out of the cave][The Third Doctor's last words.]
The Doctor: I had to face my fear ... that was more important than just going on living ...
(Sarah Jane: Please...don't die!)
The Doctor: A tear, Sarah Jane? No, don't cry. While there's life, there's...
[The Doctor dies. Sarah closes his eyes.]
Sarah Jane: Hope.[The Doctor is about to regenerate.]
Sarah Jane: Look, Brigadier, look! I think it's starting!
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Well, here we go again.
== Other appearances ==
=== The Five Doctors [20.7] ===
(23 November 1983) The following quotations occurred in a serial set after the Third Doctor's era had officially ended (in the era of the Fifth Doctor, to be exact) and thus are not technically part of this Doctor's era. As they are all quotes involving the Third Doctor, however, they are included here for the sake of completion.[Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart to the Third and Fifth Doctors in reference to the First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Doctors.]
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Splendid fellows - all of you!Third Doctor: I've reversed the polarity of the Neutron flow, so the TARDIS should be free from the force field now.
=== Dimensions in Time [30th Anniversary Special] ===
Melanie Bush: What's happening?
Third Doctor: Change! You, me, everything.Third Doctor: I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve yet, madam! It's time for you to start losing!
The Rani: [Gesturing at Liz Shaw] YOU! EARTH FEMALE! COME HERE!
[Liz starts moving]:
Third Doctor: Liz? No, Liz you mustn't!
Liz Shaw: Leave this to me! I'll take my chance, Doctor.
[Liz runs up and tackles the Rani, trying to take her gun off of her. Mandy Salter walks up to her and sees what she's doing]
Mandy Salters: What are you doing? Leave her alone!Third Doctor: I should be taking it easy, not bounding around like some Megaloofian slime-skidder.
Victoria Waterfield: Who was that terrible woman?!?!
Third Doctor: That's the Rani! Her handiwork is what's behind this confusion. Only problem is, now her control is breaking down! Ah good, there's the TARDIS. Come on, Victoria!
=== The Day of the Doctor ===
(23 November 2013) The General: "It's delusional. I mean... the calculations alone would take hundreds of years."
The Eleventh Doctor: "Oh, hundreds and hundreds..."
The Tenth Doctor: "...But don't worry, I started a very long time ago."
[Zoom in on a TARDIS racing to Gallifrey]
The First Doctor: "Calling the War Council of Gallifrey! This is the Doctor!"
[Joined by eight other TARDISes]
The Eleventh Doctor: "You might say I've been doing this all my lives."
The Second Doctor: "Good luck."
The Third Doctor: "Standing by."
The Second Doctor: "Ready."
The Fourth Doctor: "Commencing calculations."
The Fifth Doctor: "Soon be there."
The Seventh Doctor: "Cross the boundaries that divide one universe from another."
The Sixth Doctor: "Just got to lock on to his coordinates."
The Ninth Doctor: "And for my next trick."
The General: "I didn't know when I was well off. All twelve of them!"
[A new pair of grey eyebrows is seen]
The Twelfth Doctor: "No, sir. All thirteen!"
== External links ==
Encyclopedic article on Third Doctor at Wikipedia
Media related to Third Doctor at Wikimedia Commons