Season 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | Main]Bones (2005–2017) is a crime drama television series on the FOX Network, inspired by real-life forensic anthropologist and novelist, Kathy Reichs. Forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan specializes in reading clues left behind in a victim's bones. Consequently, law enforcement calls her in to assist with murder investigations when the remains are so badly decomposed, burned, or destroyed that the standard identification methods are useless.
=== The Future in the Past [8.01] ===
Angela: Brennan didn't use binders. She could remember...
Clark: I'm not Dr. Brennan. I use binders! People like my binders!Sweets: I don't know where Booth is.
Flynn: I don't think you're being completely honest with me.
Sweets: Then you have trust issues stemming from...[rolls eyes] I don't know....a bunch of psychological crap.Booth: [in baby talk to Christine] Organic content decomposing changes the appearance of plant life, right? Doesn't it?
Brennan: [surprised] Yes!
Booth: [to Brennan] Well, you know, I missed you so I was reading some of your books. They're thick. They're really ... they're heavy.Pelant: You're not capable of killing me.
Hodgins: People change.[Booth arrests and handcuffs Pelant]
Pelant: It's too tight.
Booth: Not for me it isn't.Max: This guy, Pelant. He needs killing, Booth.
=== The Partners in the Divorce [8.02] ===
Pamela Bartlett: Someone was bound to kill Richard.
Brennan: Why? Was your husband an attorney for organized crime or terrorists?
Pamela: Much worse. Richard was a white shoe divorce lawyer.
Brennan: I believe the shoes were ox blood. [Booth looks irritated]
Booth: [to Brennan] What she means is that her husband is a lawyer for rich people. No shoes.
Brennan: Oohhhhh.[Booth and Brennan enter a law firm undergoing renovation]
Foreman: [to Booth and Brennan] Uh, this is a hard hat area so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Booth: [flashes his badge] FBI. I need a hard hat.
Brennan: And directions to Margot Sandoval's office and I need a hard hat too.
Foreman: [with dread] This is gonna slow me down.
Booth: That's a shame.
Foreman: Yeah. A little mercy, all right? I'm doing renovations for a bunch of lawyers who threaten to sue me everyday. [removes hard hat] I'm going bald with the stress.
Booth: Well, you know why I have good hair? Because I don't let lawyers stress me out.
Brennan: That's true.
Foreman: Ok, ok fine. Who do you need to see again?
Booth: Richard Bartlett.
Foreman: You're gonna lose a few hairs after you meet Bartlett. Trust me.Brennan: Is everything all right?
Booth: Ah, I just don't like being in a divorce lawyer's office, that's all.
Booth: Well, 'cause it reminds me that things, you know, fall apart.
Brennan: [awkwardly joking] Then it's a good thing we're not married, right? [Booth glares at her]
Booth: "[upset]" You are not a very reassuring person, Bones.Angela: [to Brennan] I don't wanna hear any anthropological crap. I just want to know how my best friend is doing.Booth: Marriage is about working through the tough times.
Brennan: More often, marriage is about divorce, which is why Bartlett could afford three homes and a plane.[Saroyan enters the Ookey Room for a update from Dr. Hodgins.]
Saroyan: You found something, Dr. Hodgins?
Hodgins: Ho-ho, yeah! I did a microscopic analysis of the victim's stomach contents. Did you have any suspicions about what I might find?
Saroyan: I knew it was meat, but there were so many additives-
Hodgins: -Delicious additives: curry paste, sea salt, red pepper, red poblano chili
Saroyan: I got the "Poblano Chili", where is this leading, 'cause you seem very excited?-
Hodgins: -Capers and tarragon; which I would never think to combine-
Saroyan: -Dr. Hodgins, this is not "Top Chef".
Hodgins: Well it-it sorta is, because, what we have here... is an expertly-prepared burger.
Saroyan: And this has meaning, why?
Hodgins: Because who-ever made it was masking the meat, which came from Rattus norvegicus.
Saroyan: Excuse me?
Hodgins: Yeah! Richard Bartlett's last meal... was a rat burger.
Saroyan: Yeah...[FBI Interrogation Room, Dr. Sweets is interrogating Chef Paulo Romano, who served the victim ratburgers.]
Romano: I got nothing to say without my lawyer present.
Sweets: Mmm, mmm, well legal representation is your constitutional right, but, I'm telling you, the minute a lawyer gets here, I can't help you.
Romano: Ha, ha. You say that, but you don't mean that––
Sweets: ...you served your divorce lawyer... a rat burger.
Romano: Says you.
Sweets: The ingredients, aside from the rat, forensically matched your kitchen.
Romano: (Plays along, amused) What ingredients?
Sweets: "What ingredients?" (Starts pulling out evidence from a box, identifying each one.) Curry paste. Corsican Sea Salt. Red Peppers. A fairly rare Russian Tarragon. Majorcan Capers. Red Poblano Chillies. Oh, this is the pan you used.
Romano: All you're doing is convincing me I need a lawyer.
Sweets: You prepared the rat. You didn't just dice it up and toss it into the pan. You treated it like a fine fillet. You really hated Richard Bartlett.
Romano: Now that's a fact.
Sweets: He was your divorce lawyer, wha––? You won!
Romano: At first, I thought he was my savior... Then I got his bill. That bastard charged me so much, I would have been better off giving half to my wife.
Sweets: So, you served him the burger as revenge.
Romano: Every Tuesday night. For two years. With a year and a half to go.
Sweets: Excuse me?
Romano: He was gonna eat rat for as long as I was married. Three and one-half years. For poetical reasons.
Sweets: He figured it out, somehow, called you to his office, threatened to sue you, take away your restaurant, and you killed him...?
Romano: Ok, now your just being insulting.
Sweets: Because I'm accusing you of murder?
Romano: 'Cause you're insulting my cooking! He loved that burger. You can check my emails. All Bartlett does is rave about that burger. Why would I kill him? Now, I never get the satisfaction of seeing that bastard's face, when he finds out that he had Rat, every Tuesday night.Brennan: I love you and I'm willing to do irrational things to prove it.
=== The Gunk in the Garage [8.03] ===
Booth: You've got to be kidding me! Eight hundred bucks for a stroller?
Brennan: I have done extensive research, Booth. This is the best stroller on the market. Plus, the design is beautiful and it's cerise.
Booth: It has a name?
Brennan: It's a color. Cerise is a color.
Booth: Look, I only paid five hundred bucks for my first car.
Brennan: I can afford it.
Booth: No! We've been through this. All our expenses are split, right down the line.
Brennan: You're too sensitive. It's just money.
Booth: Rich people always say that. That's what they say. Mm-hmm.
Brennan: Didn't you say you would be getting a raise soon?
Booth: And until then Christine will be fine in a cheaper stroller that's in a color people have heard of like -- [looks over to see Brennan looking at him] -- don't do that. Not that look, please. Don't give me the sad eyes.
Booth: No, come on. No! I'm not looking! I'm driving!
Brennan: Come on.
Booth: [to himself] Just keep driving. [looks over] You were never able to do this look before the baby. What did the baby do to you?Angela: Okay, I'm no coroner, but I'm saying the cause of death was a humongous explosion.
Cam: The coroner concurs.Sweets: I'm a psychologist, a profiler.
Agent Olivia Sparling: You've got to be kidding. I'm working with a shrink.
Sweets: I'm more than just a shrink ok? The Bureau gave me a gun. [lifts his blazer to reveal a gun] I should take the lead on questioning people. It's kinda my thing.
Sparling: Just don't shoot me.Caroline Julian: You're gonna have to justify your department's expenses at the quarterly budget review.
Booth: Me? No not me. I work in the field.
Caroline: That's why you are doing it. Big burly agent like you will intimidate those pencilnecks. I'd wave your gun around a little too if I were you.
Booth: There's gotta be someone else here.
Caroline: No, sorry cherie, but there is no one burlier and cuter than you.
Caroline: You just go through all the supplies we used last quarter, cost, manpower, techs and such, then estimate the cost for the coming quarter.
Caroline: Kevlar vests, ammo, toner for the printers.
Caroline: The government doesn't function without toner, cherie.Booth: If I get this promotion I wouldn't be in the field as much. But hey, that could be a good thing.
Brennan: But you'd be behind a desk. You'd hate that.
Booth: But I would get a raise and I will love that.
Brennan: A desk job? It's like caging an animal. You're meant to run free, Booth.Sweets: Sparling doesn't seem to trust how I as a psychologist perform my job.
Booth: She thinks you're an idiot?
Sweets: I wouldn't say that but in layman's terms...yes.
Booth: Look, you're the psychologist. Point your little shrinky brain at her and pull the trigger.Sweets: [Booth hung up on him] Hello? Yeah? [explaining to Sparling] He usually hangs up without saying goodbye. It's our thing. It's 'cause we're close.Caroline: You said there was a casualty. Who was it?
Booth: Sweets. He'll be fine.
Caroline: Sweets. That boy's got the goods. But you better not tell him I said that.
Booth: [smiles] No problem. As far as the world is concerned, you're a horrible person.Brennan: I'm sorry you're not getting the promotion.
Booth: Thank you.
Brennan: You're welcome.
Booth: You know, for lying to me, thank you. I mean, I know it's a white lie, but I mean look at you, being all sweet and lying to me.
Brennan: I didn't want you to get the promotion?
Booth: Why? Because I'm a man of action and not someone who's going to rot behind a desk?
Brennan: No, because who else will take me out into the field?
Booth: That's a good point, Bones.
Brennan: But truthfully, I am sorry that you're disappointed.
Booth: I'm not disappointed.
Brennan: [smiles] Because you're a man of action who would rot behind a desk?
Booth: That's right! A man of action!
Brennan: Can I start buying you things now?
Booth: No, you can't, but I'll tell you what: you can buy Christine stuff.
Brennan: I know you'd like a new grill.
Booth: Christine would love a new grill. She would love it.
Brennan: Baby girls need new grills.
Booth: Baby girls, and a new tool set! [motions to the food] And what is this?
Brennan: It's quinoa.
Booth: And what is that?
Brennan: It's a grain. It's a lot of protein --
Booth: When I get the new grill we can grill steaks!
=== The Tiger in the Tale [8.04] ===
Hodgins: Dr. Saroyan, have you seen the excrement that I left on my desk?Hodgins: What kind of lunatic wants a wild animal as a pet?
Cam: I think "lunatic" pretty much describes who we're talking about.Daisy: I could call in an anonymous tip like "I hear roaring at night."
Angela: I was thinking more along the lines of looking at satellite photos on the internet and seeing if any of the farms shout "tiger."
Cam: That is brilliant.Brennan: When I am President, killing tigers will be a death penalty offense.
Booth: Whoa. The President isn't actually a dictator, Bones.
=== The Method to the Madness [8.05] ===
[At the crime scene]
Cam: [about Sweets] He's going through an "early life crisis". Good luck.
Booth: Good luck??? I don't need luck. This is not about luck. [Cam looks at him] This is about a friend extending to another friend. Like an olive branch. [frustrated] Stop. Can we just stop and deal with this here, the remains...[Hodgins hands Cam a bag of remains and human organs spill out onto the floor.]
Booth: Ohhh. No guts, no glory.Booth: [shows Sweets into Parker's room] Parker won't be visiting us for a couple of months so...sorry about all the junk and toys.
Sweets: Oh, no...beats the hell out of my office. Look at all this stuff. Kids from broken homes really rake in the material goods by way of compensation. [Booth stares at Sweets]
Booth: Right. [takes a photo from a case file and hands it to Sweets] Take a look at this. Take a closer look, all right?
Sweets: [takes photo from Booth] What? [looks at photo and grimaces in disgust] Oh my god!! This corpse is so mutilated!!Hodgins: I am starting a pool on how long Sweets lasts with Booth and Brennan. I say he's out tonight. [...] So are you in on the pool?
Cam: I give Sweets four days.
Hodgins: [...] So, Angie? How long do you give Sweets.
Angela: [chuckles] I say he lives with them permanently from now on.
Hodgins: [...] What do you mean "from now on"?
Angela: I mean for the forseeable future. They will adopt him.
Hodgins: I don't have a box for "infinity".Cam: Our killer is sick and smart. I hate that combination.Hodgins: What kind of freak feels nostalgic over human sacrifice?
Fisher: I'm gonna go ahead and plead the fifth on that.Booth: A man doesn't fold another man's underwear!
Sweets: Are those Captain America boxers?Booth: Bones!
Booth: Is Sweets in our bathroom?
Brennan: Yes. Should I have put a note on the door?
Booth: Well, a little warning would've been nice. What's he doing in our bathtub?
Booth: Our jets. In our bathtub.
Brennan: Societies in Japan and Turkey encourage public bathing. [Booth looks at her, unamused] In modern day Finland...
Booth: Finland?!! Woah, woah, this is not Finland!
Sweets: [comes out with only a towel wrapped around his waist while Booth turns and glares at him] Sorry, Booth, I should've locked the door, huh?
Brennan: [innocently] Because you've played on so many sports teams and spent a lot of time in the Army I assumed you were comfortable with male nudity.
Sweets: You know, fear of nudity is called gymnophobia.
Booth: Oh, listen, psychology and anthropology, I liked it better when you two were fighting, all right? [glances at Sweets] Are we done with our bathtub?
Booth: Yeah. [turns to Brennan] I like to soak in our tub. After work. [turns to go up the stairs]
Brennan: If you'd seen Booth's x-rays you'd understand. The list of bones that he hasn't broken is shorter than the ones that he has. [Booth puts his arms up in frustration, glares at Brennan]Angela: The artisan world. That is why I studied art in the first place. To pursue my true passion.
Hodgins: [jokingly] Hey! I thought I was your true passion.Sweets: Artisans go into business because they're passionate about the products they create.
Booth: That is so un-American.
=== The Patriot in Purgatory [8.06] ===
Booth: All I did was get her to watch a basketball game instead of another rerun of Nova.
Sweets: That's it?
Booth: Yeah. Next thing I know, she's reading all about Phil Jackson.
Sweets: Well, you really didn't do much then, did you?
Booth: [mocking] Oh really. I didn't do much. I did get her to stop watching Nova.
Sweets: You're right. Good point. Sorry.
Booth: And because of that, her squint squad has identified eighteen sets of remains. [shows Sweets a stack of files]
Sweets: That's impressive.
Booth: [smiles] Good. I'm so glad you feel that way because it is your responsibility to notify all the surviving relatives. [dumps the files into Sweets' arms]
Sweets: What??? Me?
Booth: Criminal victims, missing persons, all comes under the FBI.
Sweets: What about you??
Booth: Me? [scoffs] I'm a special agent. I beat up bad guys and I leap over things.
Sweets: [unamused] You're describing Superman.
Booth: Exactly. You ever hear of Superman picking up a telephone? [smirks and goes into his office while Sweets walks away, grumbling to himself]Hodgins: I have looked into every 9/11 conspiracy. All of them. None of them hold up. Or, I should say, only one of them does. We were attacked by extremists who hated everything we represent. We might not be angels but no one deserved to die that day. No one.Booth: We went to Afghanistan because of those attacks. No matter how bad it got we would never leave anyone behind.Arastoo: This was not the work of religion, it was arrogance, it was hypocrisy, it was hate. Those horrible men who hijacked those planes hijacked my religion that day too. They insulted my God. So no, this isn't too difficult. It's a privilege to be able to serve this victim, to be able to show him care and love that was so absent that day.Fisher: 9/11 was a trauma to us all - not like this guy or the people who died that day. But it still changed us, right? A-and we act like it doesn't matter. Clearly Wendell is freaking out and you ... [motions to Arastoo] you went nuts earlier. The first rule of the looney bin is to get it all out in the open. So, that's what we're going to do, alright? I'll go: I was in High School. It was my Senior Year. I was [chuckles] breaking into my history teacher's desk to steal a test I hadn't studied for and he walked in. He was crying. He couldn't care less what I was doing. That's when I found out. So I ... I talked with him. I had a stolen test in my hand, and we both sat...and we cried. Next? Oh, c'mon!
Clark: I was working. It was, uh, before school - coffee shop. Everyone was just staring at the TV. No one said a word. the cook came out to watch with the rest of us. I still remember the smell of food burning on that grill.
Finn: I was nine. I got in the way of my stepfather hitting my mama. He stuck me with some scissors. My mama wanted to take me to the hospital. But my hurt didn't seem like nothin' when we heard what had happened.
Arastoo: I was at morning prayers. I didn't believe that day. I didn't believe in anything.
Wendell: I was, uh, with my aunt ... from that morning until the next few days. My uncle was a firefighter in New York. He never came home.Booth: For years, Tim Murphy was homeless. He was forgotten. He was one of those people on the streets that we try not to look at because the sight of them is just too painful. But we're all cut from the same cloth. Tim knew that. He knew just how connected all of us are. He knew that if it wasn't for his three buddies, that Tim wouldn't be alive on September 11th to save the lives of Diane, Warren and James. And we wouldn't be able to tell Tim's son that Tim didn't die a broken man living on the streets, Sean, but he was as brave and noble as the rest of us. We lay him to rest today a hero.Brennan: I dug out remains from the rubble of the towers. [pauses] For two weeks I was methodical, scientist. I did what was asked of me. I did my job. I never shed a tear. I was proud of that. [tears up] All these years I've never let myself feel... [starts crying]
Booth: [sympathetically] Bones, we all deal with things in our own way, ok?
Brennan: I could avoid it all before I met you. I had no one in my life. And now I think of those people and I think of you. Any one of them, it could've been you. [Booth embraces her as she sobs into his chest]
=== The Bod in the Pod [8.07] ===
Brennan: It's a container of some sort...[examines pod]...filled with gelatinzed human remains.
Hodgins: [looks on with fascination] At first I thought pod people.
Booth: Of course you did.
Hodgins: Hey, there's still a lot of questions remaining about the events at Area 51, you know. Do you know that UFO spottings--
Booth: [annoyed] Let's just keep it close to earth here, bug boy. Just simplify the investigation.
Brennan: [to Booth] Reminds me of a ship in a bottle. My dad gave me one when I was little.
Booth: Right. So this, uh, kinda brings up all these "warm and cuddly" memories for you. That's nice.[Hodgins slices open the pod with a laser beam.]
Arastoo: So what now? Do we just tip it over and let it drain into a tub? Or insert a tube? Or...
Hodgins: Safety first. You want to make sure everything's safe in there.
[Hodgins puts his head to the hole and takes a whiff.]
Hodgins: I've never smelt anything like that before. [gags] I mean, I suppose that that could be, um....[faints]Brennan: Sweets has trust issues involving finding a home. Since he grew up an orphan, the anger he's sublimated has paralyzed him from developing a healthy perspective on what having a home means. That made him bond with us and our home so he didn't have to deal with his own emotional insecurities.
Booth: Bones shoots from the outside! Three points!
Sweets: Where's that psychobabble coming from?
Booth: Well, you left one of your psychobabble books in our bathroom.Booth: [to suspect, who is gloating over the fact that there's no evidence to convict him of murder] She's gonna find something. She always does.
Booth: You made one big mistake.
Suspect: Yeah, what was that?
Booth: You pissed off my partner here.
=== The But in the Joke [8.08] ===
[Booth and Brennan are standing over Seth Zalinsky, who is lying on the ground stuck to the corpse]
Booth: [standing over Seth] Hey there, Michelangelo, can you hear me?
Brennan: [to Booth] You shouldn't call him that, Booth. If he had a head injury he might think that's who he is.
Seth: Something's poking in my back and something smells terrible!
Paramedic: Do you know your name?
Booth: Ok, what is it.
Seth: I'm not saying.
Brennan: [to Booth] Told you. You confused him.
Booth: No I didn't––
Seth: I'm not confused! I'm just not tellin' you my name.
Booth: See, he's not confused.
Paramedic: Vitals are stable. No sign of concussion....
Seth: Who are you??
Booth: Who are we? [shows his badge] FBI, that's who we are.
Seth: Since when did FBI cover billboard vandalism??[At the Jeffersonian platform. Brennan, Cam and Fisher are observing Seth on the autopsy table being scanned.]
Fisher: Are we allowed to laugh?
Cam: Ummmm...no. [looks at Brennan] What are we calling the one that's still alive?
Brennan: Well, Booth calls him Michelangelo.
Fisher: [looking at computer screen] Large rugged pelvis suggests the victim was a Caucasian male.
Seth: I have a large rugged pelvis? [grins] Booyah!!! [Cam smiles]
Brennan: Not you. The murder victim.
Seth: Everyone here is this combo of smart and dumb.Brennan: Now you don't have to unfold and refold a map.
Booth: Wait a second, I like maps. What's wrong with maps?
Brennan: Well, maps cannot tell you the amount of traffic to expect en route to your destination. See? Now we can relax and talk about interesting things.
Booth: This is not how the cowboys settled this country.Fisher: [pulls the corpse off Seth] It is with great pleasure that I divorce these skulls.Fisher: I don't know if you're aware, but I do a bit of stand-up myself.
Brennan: I imagine you are not very skilled at it, as you are not a humorous person.
Fisher: My routine is dark, disturbing and uncomfortable. Just the way a comedy show should be.Fisher: I don't do jokes, Dr. Saroyan. I do raw, unfiltered honesty.[Backstage before open mike night at the comedy club]
Sweets: Are you nervous?
Booth: I've had people try to kill me, Sweets. I don't think cracking jokes makes me nervous.Brennan: 1,250,000.
Brennan: That's how long it would take to check out every toilet in DC.
Booth: [turns to Brennan] Bones, once you start with the math you don't stop, right?
Brennan: [smiles] You think everyone's like that, don't you?
Booth: [humoring Brennan, smirks] Yeah I think so, definitely. Go math. Math people forever, right?[Booth is undercover as a stand-up comic while Sweets and Fisher are watching in the audience]
Sweets: Oh my god, Booth is funny.
Fisher: Almost funny.
=== The Ghost in the Machine [8.09] ===
Booth: So what do you think? Man or a woman?
Brennan: I am uncomfortable defining sex with just a skull.
Booth: Come on. Take a stab. I won't write anything down, I promise. It's between me and you. (Brennan looks at Hodgins) Oh, well...
Hodgins: What? You don't want to take a stab in front of me?
Brennan: I feel inhibited by my desire not to embarrass myself in front of another scientist.
Booth: You should take that as a compliment.
Hodgins: What about him?
Brennan: Well we live together and thus share the same synergistic lack of inhibition which allows us to have sex without being self-conscious.
Booth: That's very romantic, Bones.
=== The Diamond in the Rough [8.10] ===
Brennan: [after Sweets suggested she and Booth go undercover as dancers] [excited] I love going undercover!
Booth: [not pleased] Why??
Brennan: Because it's fun and exciting!Wendell: You're the king of the lab. Or at least you used to be. Apparently, now, you're just another clueless tech.
Hodgins: [folds his arms, amused] Ok, all right, I see what you're doing there and I'm far too evolved for you to try for it to work.Cam: [walks in and is surprised to see Brennan in her dance dress] This....is..a good look. You going to the hootenanny later?
Brennan: Hootenanny is an informal gathering for singing and dancing. I am training for an extremely rigorous ballroom dance competition.
Brennan: Booth and I intend to win the rumba competition.
Cam: And catch a murderer?
Brennan: Yes. Of course, that's the main objective. [dances on her way out]
Wendell: [in shock] Wow.
Cam: [turns to Wendell] Just..um, go with it.Booth: [after Brennan gives him a passionate kiss] Wow, what was that for?
Brennan: [flirtatiously] Just felt like high school in here. Didn't you ever sneak away into the closet? [she and Booth kiss again]
Booth: The backseat of a car is more my thing.Wendell: [to Cam] Something is going on here that I don't know anything about, so walking away. Running away.[Booth and Brennan are in a dance audition]
Brennan: Do I have to do anything special when it ends?
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Because it's never gonna end, Bones. It's always gonna be just like this. Just like this.
=== The Archaeologist in the Cocoon [8.11] ===
Clark: Crime, you. Ancient history, me. Remember?
Brennan: Yes, but I would think you would want nothing more than my expertise.
Clark: And I'm well aware that you would think that. But I don't want to take you away from your murder.Brennan: I don't believe this. I taught you.
Clark: And I'm grateful. I promise, you'll be thanked when I'm published.Brennan: I don't want to pass my failings on to Christine, Booth.
Booth: What failings?
Brennan: Hyper-competitiveness, arrogance, insensitivity to the feelings of others.
Booth: You know what? Thumbs up to the self-realization there Bones. Actually, two thumbs up.
Brennan: You should make a similar effort.
Brennan: Not to pass on your failings.
Booth: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean? What failings?
Brennan: [to Christine] It's time for bed.
=== The Corpse on the Canopy [8.12] ===
[Sweets, Booth and Flynn go to Booth's office. The Enigma machine is emitting smoke while receiving a message.]
Flynn: What the hell is that?
Booth: Enigma machine. Hodgins sent it over.
Booth: Why? Because it's Hodgins.Booth: I need that warrant.
Caroline Julian: You wanna take on a private army with an FBI tac squad?
=== The Twist in the Plot [8.13] ===
Sweets: I'm sleeping in Parker's room. Kinda hard to bring home a woman when you're sleeping in Wolverine sheets.Booth: Gotta tell you, kinda hard to feel bad for anybody who would ride around in a glorified scooter.Booth: [after Brennan tells him she wants a sky burial] Vultures and hammers? That's your last message to the world, to me, to Christine? Vultures and hammers....I'm gonna go get the car.Booth: You want us to sprinkle your ashes over a volcano?
Brennan: Yes. That way at least if I'm dead you can have a nice trip together and foolishly risk your lives.
Booth: Which will bring us closer together!
Brennan: Yes.Dr. Craig: [Booth enters the interrogation room reading a case file] This room is even scarier than the last one. [Booth looks up at him] And you're even scarier than the psychologist.Daisy: We agreed that we shouldn't get back together, but what if we're wrong?
Cam: You're grieving. You two had something alive and vibrant and now it's gone.
Cam: Have you ever seen anything come back to life and be as good as it ever was?
Cam: So feel sad. Cry. You lost something wonderful, but keep moving forward. It'll get better, I promise. And, uh, stop copying Dr. Brennan. It's a little creepy.Booth: Hey there, Christine. It's me, your father. Dad, Dada, Daddy. If you're watching this right now, I'm dead. Um, if I was a good father to you, you're sad right now. If we had some sort of, like, falling out, let's just forget about it and move on. It's just-it's not worth it. You know, personally, I'm doing everything I can to get into Heaven right now, but your mother believes, well, she thinks that, I tell you what. Why don't you ask her. It's complicated. These are the last words that I'm going to-to speak in this world, so here it goes. I like God. I really like God, and I think that he likes me. you know I, um, I love Canadian beer, and hockey. They kinda go hand in hand. I really love loud music and really sad music. I love this country. And I'm proud to have served in the military. I'm the luckiest man in the world because I got to spend time with your mother. And with you. And that's true, you know? It's true, whether I died today or 50 years from now. It's true. Okay? I love you. And I want you to-to love life. Dive into life. Be courageous. Question things and-and be happy. And don't forget to laugh. Oh, and one last favor. Help your mom to be happy, because if she's alone, then she's gonna forget. That's it. That's...from me, to you.
=== The Doll in the Derby [8.14] ===
Angela: We should be paying for this.
Wendell: No, no, you guys are broke now. It's on me.Angela: Hey, you think maybe we can kiss like one more time?
Booth: You've had your fun.Booth: Really bad with the whole undercover thing. You really are.
Angela: Really?Angela: Hey, you fell in love with a wild woman, didn't you?
Hodgins: Yes, a beautiful wild woman.
Angela: And that's how I will remand. Because nobody screws with Smacky Kennedy.Hodgins: Posing naked for a hot art student. That is still a big regret of mine.
Wendell: Done it. Not a student though.
Wendell: [awkwardly] I don't want to talk about this anymore.
=== The Shot in the Dark [8.15] ===
Brennan: [to her mother] If this was real, I'd tell you I love you. And I miss you.Christine: The advice I gave you back then, use your head, be rational, don't let your heart lead you, use your brain. That allowed you to survive, and it held true. But I have another piece of advice for you. It's time for you to find some of that little girl that you locked away so deep inside yourself.
Christine: Because it's not about surviving anymore. It's about flourishing. It's about living a full life.Brennan: [To Booth] I don't understand it, but for some reason I feel like it's you who keeps calling me back here.Christine: [to Bones] Maybe that's why you took my advice and you never changed yourself for another person again. So you'd never be hurt. You tucked your heart away and you used your brain.Christine: [to Bones] I told you that you were too dreamy and emotional, making decisions on what you felt instead of using your brain.Hodgins: Stepping in on the bone stuff. This could be dangerous.
Edison: Yeah, well my middle name is danger. It's actually Thomas.
Sweets: Thomas? His name is Thomas Edison.Cam: Thank God you weren't 5 minutes later.
Booth: It's a miracle, right? Bones, she doesn't believe in God. You know? It's the only explanation, right?
Cam: Well, for some reason you got it into your head to see the woman you love.Hodgins: When you eliminate the possible, you are left with the truth, no matter how improbable.Christine: [to Bones] This is your one small problem that you think that you can understand things that are simply not understandable. They throw you for a loop.Brennan: I have to get back. I have a daughter.
Christine: I know how you feel. Once I had to leave my daughter behind too. I'm pretty sure it killed me.Christine: [to Bones] You are still the most stubborn creature on God's green earth.
=== The Friend in Need [8.16] ===
[Cam, Brennan, Finn, and Hodgins are analyzing a teen's remains packed inside a suitcase.]
Cam: The boy didn't climb into a suitcase and throw himself off a bridge
Hodgins: I don't know. Could be a jackass stunt gone wrong.
Cam: You're suggesting cause of death is stupidity?
Finn: Well, it wouldn't be the first time.Sweets: So the way we play this is I'm the understanding psychologist and you be the flinty FBI agent?
Booth: [dismisses him] Just be what we are.Sweets: You knew you had to tell someone who would listen. And you were right. You can't just "will" something like this away. You have to deal with it or it'll stay with you forever.
Kat: What do you know? Were you raped?
Sweets: [takes a deep breath] No, no. [pauses] Um...when I was a boy I was in a bad foster home. I was beaten. The foster dad, he did it for sport. I thought it was me. You know, I thought, if I just behaved better. So that's what I tried to do. Until someone helped me see it wasn't my fault. It wasn't. And no matter how hard or painful it is, it was better to face what happened.Brennan: My IQ is quantifiably higher than yours.
Booth: You know what, you're the brains of the outfit.
Brennan: You have your strengths, Booth.
Booth: Well, I try
Brennan: Trying is one of your strengths.Brennan: Booth, do you ever let me think I'm the smart one when you've figured it out already?
Brennan: Because that would be ridiculous.Sweets: You've been reading my psychology books again.
Brennan: You leave them in the bathroom. They're good reading in the tub.Brennan: [to Cam and Angela] In high school I did a report concerning the effects of alcohol on muscle coordination. It was quite amusing.Booth: You're not always the smartest, Bones.
Brennan: But I am.
=== The Fact in the Fiction [8.17] ===
Brennan: I confess that in a moment of weakness I took the opportunity to make Dr. Wells feel bad about himself.
Booth: He deserves it. Trust me. It's probably the first time he's met someone that's smarter than him.Booth: If you could travel through time where would you go?
Brennan: I'm already there. Here.
Brennan: Here. The difference between past and future is nowhere to be found in the laws of physics. Everything I want or need is here. Right now.Wells: [to Angela] Do I look humble? I'm trying to be less of a douche.Angela: It's not crazy that I'm worried about, actually. It's arrogance. We're a team here and you can be traded.
Wells: Wherever I go, I'm always the smartest person and it always creates problems.
Angela: Well maybe you should try being less of a douche.Wells: Just because something is theoretically impossible doesn't mean that it's not possible.
Brennan: I believe that is exactly what it means.Angela: Would you tell your significant other the truth or would you...
Cam: I would tell him...that I wanted to have tea with Jesus.Hodgins: You're talking about doing another experiment, aren't you?
Wells: Perhaps I am your brother from another mother.Wells: You shy away from randomness and that prevents you from casting a wide net.
Brennan: Are you saying that I'm narrow-minded?
Wells: Your words, not mine.Sweets: But still, to face a pack of wild animals alone...
Booth: I'm sure you could just bore them to death with your shrinky talk.Hodgins: Is she looking at me like an angry schoolteacher?
Booth: Yeah. Yeah, she does that a lot.
=== The Survivor in the Soap [8.18] ===
Angela: [observing Cam and Arastoo through the glass from her office] Hey, if I didn't already know about Arastoo and Cam.
Hodgins: You do not know. Only I know. This is as far as Arastoo and Cam are concerned.
Angela: Oh come on! Look at them!
Hodgins: [looks at Cam and Arastoo] She's signing a requisition.... [to Angela] Look, you only know because I confirmed it.
Angela: [snaps] She would've figured out that I would've known if I didn't have to hide the fact that I already knew!
Hodgins: Ok I'm gonna run away now .[leaves]
Angela: I'm surprised they have their clothes on.Alex Radswell: People come to this country looking for a new start. Somebody messes with that, they're messing with the United States of America.Arastoo: Symchay Conteh wasn't just a refugee from Sierra Leone. He was a child soldier. A small boy taught to kill. Who's the victim in that case?
Brennan: When you were growing up in Iran during the war with Iraq...
Arastoo: I was privileged, sheltered. I dealt with power outages, food shortages and propaganda. I had it easy.
Brennan: No one has it easy in war.
Arastoo: I'm not the victim here, Dr. Brennan. I'd like to focus on Symchay.Singer: You think I killed him?
Booth: The photo you took of him is the centerpiece of the show.
Singer: But I didn't know that! People change between the age of seven and twenty four! [Brennan looks at Booth] You know, I have seen enough death, thanks! I have no interest in killing anybody myself.
Booth: Have you gotten any help, Miss Singer? [Singer looks at Booth in surprise] I'm a veteran. I can recognize post traumatic stress disorder.
Singer: Yes. I got help. I had trouble sleeping, I had dreams, I got depressed. But I have my work and I never killed anybody. [to Booth] Can you say the same thing?
Booth: No, I cannot.[Booth comes downstairs to find Brennan in the living room looking at some photos.]
Brennan: I couldn't sleep.
Booth: What are those?
Brennan: Some pictures I took in Central America and Darfur. [shows Booth a photo of a mass grave] It was impossible to identify all of them.
Booth: [picks up a photo of a child soldier] And these soldiers?
Brennan: They were helping us. I was grateful at the time but..look at them. [points to the photo] Look at him, Booth. He couldn't be more than fifteen! [looks at photo] I thanked him.
Booth: You had a job to do.
Brennan: In Afghanistan, when you see boys like this, do you let them fight?
Booth: It was different. There was a protocol.
Brennan: I should've made sure that he could put down that gun and have a normal life.
Booth: What's normal in a war zone, Bones? Really.
Brennan: Not this. We can never let this be normal, even if they're on our side.[Booth is handcuffing Hamilton is his office.]
Booth: [to Radswell] Relax, we've got him ok?
Radswell: Hey, I'm not a cop, Booth. [to Hamilton] I hope you get killed in jail.
Brennan: I agree with Mr. Radswell.
Booth: I don't. [looks to Hamilton] I actually want to see him go through the whole system.
=== The Doom in the Gloom [8.19] ===
Daisy: [discussing cause of death] But we can't be certain certain. Just mostly certain. [Cam looks at her in bewilderment]
Brennan: "Certain" is an absolute, Miss Wick. You can't be "mostly certain".
Cam: "Mostly certain" is good for me.Cam: [sees Hodgins is about to do an experiment with a shotgun and comes over] Oh no no no no no....what–– [sees Hodgins and Daisy] Really?
[Daisy hands Cam mufflers]
Hodgins: [aiming shotgun at test dummy] Fire in the––
[Shotgun shoots out flames like a dragon's breath and the test dummy catches on fire]
Hodgins: ...hole. [in awe] [turns back to Cam and Daisy, who are both stunned and speechless] Sorry. Trigger was a little more sensitive than I thought.
[Cam watches on as the test dummy burns][Sweets is on the phone with an insurance agent.]
Booth: Nah, it's ok. You're all good with the move? You need any help?
Sweets: No, but thanks.
Booth: [looks at Sweets] All right. You sure checked the building out for asbestos and plumbing leaks and cracks and the foundation...
Sweets: Yeah. All good.
Booth: 'Cause I don't wanna hear any crazy excuses from you that you've gotta move back in.
Sweets: [smiles] Not gonna happen. I'm set.
Booth: [unconvinced] You're ok living in a building full of shrinks.
Sweets: Hey, you know, we have a lot in common, plus we have the skills to work out our disagreements in a healthy and constructive manner. [pats Booth on the back, grins] I'm gonna miss you too, Agent Booth.
Booth: [unamused] Right. Yeah. Well, I see all the time here at work. Plus I get my tub back and I won't have to look at the stupid pomegranate juice in my refrigerator.
Sweets: You still haven't tried it yet.
Booth: No, I haven't. That's called shrink juice.
Sweets: [shrugs] It's just pomegranate juice.
Booth: Why don't you gather all your new neighbors together and you can have a shrink juice party? [walks into his office]
Sweets: That's good.
Booth: [shuts office door] Enjoy that![Cam and Angela see Hodgins setting up a cannon he "borrowed" from the Civil War collection for an experiment.]
Angela: This is not necessary, Hodgins. I already double-checked the figures. A cannonball fractured our victim's leg.
Hodgins: [while working] And I am not doubting that, Angie.
Cam: Then, why exactly are you doing this?
Hodgins: [excitedly] Have we all forgotten the concept of the double blind study?
Cam: [unimpressed] Doesn't apply to artillery.
Hodgins: Theories are improved as more evidence is gathered, so that accuracy and prediction improves over time. [Cam shakes her head] For that we need independent strands of evidence from a single foundational source. You cannot argue with that.
Angela: [subtly to Cam] So he's never shot the cannon?
Hodgins: Excuse me for loving my work. Goggles and ear protection, please. [hands Angela and Cam goggles and mufflers]
[Hodgins fires the cannon]
Hodgins: We have corroboration which is exactly what we want as scientists.
Cam: [grins] Of course. Now clean up this mess.
Hodgins: One more?
Hodgins: It's all set up.
Cam: No. [turns and walks away with Angela]
Hodgins: [pleads] I made another cannonball!
Angela: [out of Hodgins' earshot] That was actually awesome.
Cam: Totally. He must never know.Hodgins: [grins at the sight of Booth in the "ookey room"] I cannot believe you're here. You hate the lab.[Sweets' housemates Janet and Chrissie have come to help Sweets move]
Chrissie: [to Booth and Brennan] Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Sweets.
Brennan: [stunned] Ohhh–– We're not....
Booth: [shakes head] Woah...
Janet: [to Sweets on the way out] Your dad is hot!
Brennan: [grins at Booth] Apparently you're hot, DAD!
Booth: Wow. Really. Did you just see that?
=== The Blood from the Stones [8.20] ===
Hodgins: [describing the particulates in the corpse] This is like Congress, only functional.Cam: And now Andrew can get a good shot of Dr. Brennan's sidekick analyzing the particulates way over there.
Hodgins: Uh...um...I'm not a sidekick. I'm king of the lab![Booth flashes his badge to the storekeeper of a jewelry shop]
Storekeeper: [nervously] Oh! Look how shiny that badge is.
Booth: Yeah that's really shiny.Brennan: Do you think Dr. Edison is more likeable than I am?
Cam: Ohhhh. [takes a deep breath] Likability is so subjective.
Brennan: Not always. Pol Pot couldn't have been likable.
Cam: Maybe at parties.[Inside the interrogation room, Metro PD Commander Joe Dinko is in for questioning. Booth and Caroline Julian are staring at him.]
Joe Dinko: I'm a cop. I know all about using the uncomfortable silence to make a suspect talk.
Caroline: Then why don't you talk first? [To Booth, sarcastically] This is gonna be a walk in the park.Booth: [to a suspect who keeps dodging his questions] Our stairwells are soundproof. You could break your neck trying to run away from me.
Booth: Where's the money?
Marcos: What money?
Booth: If you say "what money" I'll drag you to the nearest stairwell.
Caroline: [watching from the observation room] I'm in a totally different place.
=== The Maiden in the Mushrooms [8.21] ===
[Hodgins catches up with Finn on the Forensic platform.]
Hodgins: Finn, I've got the results.
Finn: From the victim's fingernail?
Hodgins: What? No, no, no, I'm still working on that. No, I have a molecular breakdown of your Grandma's secret sauce.
Finn: Oh, forget it. I've moved on.
Hodgins: No, you haven't, your still pissed, and I don't blame you. That stuff is awesome!
Finn: My Grandmother used to put it on my Catfish...
Hodgins: Oh, you're kidd...you're killing me here. I'm not gonna let that hot sauce die. [walks over to monitor] Now, look at this. I-I took a swab of the bottle and I ran it through the Mass-Spec, right, and I almost got everything. We've got Red and Yellow Peppers, ok, Cayenne, Tomatoes, of course, Garlic, Onions, Cumin, Salt, Brown sugar, Vinegar--it's just-it's just this one compound I cannot identify, and I hoping you'd know what it was.
Finn: Yeah, it's the one thing you'll never find.
Hodgins: Alright, but I've already got a portion of the molecular chain...
Finn: Love! It's love, Hodgins. That's not gonna show on your Mass Spec. Come on, let it go. [walks away]
Hodgins: No...Finn, come on...hey. I'm just one compound away.
[Finn leaves the Forensics Platform]
Hodgins: I'm gonna burn the crap outta your mouth and you are gonna love it!
[Another lab technician looks at Hodgins and wrinkles his nose, weirded out by the comment. Hodgins feels awkward for saying that so loud][In the interrogation room]
Sweets: You seem to feel that anger is good solution to your problems, which I totally understand.
Sweets: [nods, speaks rapidly] Yeah, sure. The release of adrenalin and noradrenalin in your system causes you to feel optimistic that your impulses are causing you to make, huh, reasonable risk assessments. It's a common correspondence bias.
Suspect: [irritated] Are you screwing with me?
Sweets: [earnestly] No. I'm simply pointing out that your lack of self control can cause you to make extremely poor decisions––
Suspect: You said you're on my side!!
Booth: [raises hand to calm suspect down] No, he said he understood why you'd go psycho!
Sweets: [glances at Booth] Ok, I wouldn't use that word but––
Booth: [impatiently to Sweets] I know. That's why I'm here.Booth: Where were you on the 17th?
Gordie: I was at...at home, I think.
Booth: You think. You have someone to back up your story?
Gordie: My mom.
Booth: [deadpan] Your mom. You live with your mom. I bet Rebecca found that hot.[Booth and Brennan are watching unaired footage of a drunk Judge Trudy]
Booth: Oh...wow...she wobbles and....oh...wow...ok, so what do you think, Bones?
Brennan: The judge might suffer from a neuromuscular disorder.
Booth: [stares at the TV and then at Brennan in disbelief] She sloshed! [Brennan shakes her head, unsure of what Booth meant] Drunk!
Brennan: Oh. That.Trudy: This line of questioning is absurd. Move on with it.
Booth: This is not your fake courtroom, Trudy. I call the shots here. You're more than a social drinker, aren't you? I can tell by the way your hand is shaking.
Trudy: I have the occasional drink. Occasional.
Booth: [sarcastically] Right. Bet you had the "occasional" DUI. For me it was gambling, for my father it was drinking. I know a problem when I see one.Finn: I hope this is important, I'm trying to find cause of death... [Smells the fried catfish.] What's that smell?
[As Angela prepares a table, Hodgins turns to show Finn.]
Hodgins: It... is Catfish, "Opie".
Finn: Oh. That wasn't neccessary, "Thurston".
Hodgins: But it was. [Points to the chair waiting] Come here, sit down.
[Finn sits down to the fried Catfish. Hodgins' hand moves to his pocket.]
Hodgins: And this... [Pulls a bottle of the hot sauce out of his pocket] This is the hot sauce.
Angela: Taste it, you are gonna love it.
[Finn reluctantly obliges]
Finn: This is... [drinks some of the sauce] Oh, my god! How did you do that?
Hodgins: Aframomum melegueta; it's more commonly as "Guinea grain". It's native to swampy habitats along the West African Coast. I have no idea how your Granny got a hold of it, but...
Finn: She used to trade with a Herbalist in the woods...Damnit...If you hadn't brought my Granny back from the dead! [starts laughing]
Hodgins: Hey, I told you I'd find it, right?
Angela: And you were right. The secret ingredient was Love. That's the only explanation for Hodgins spending so much time, and effort to do this.
Hodgins: Eat. Go, eat.
[Finn pours the hot sauce on the catfish and starts eating]
Hodgins: Hey, we shouldn't keep this stuff a secret, I mean the world would love this.
Finn: Aaaa. Very true, very true.
Angela: You should slow down a little bit, Finn. You don't wanna get a bone stuck down your throat.
Finn: [Holds up a catfish bone] Not from a baby Catfish.
[Bends the catfish bone to emphasize that it is flexible. As he looks at it, he has an epiphany on the victim's cause of death.]
Finn: That's it!
Finn: Cause of death.
[Finn gets up, hovering between going and eating his catfish. He grabs the bottle of hot sauce before he leaves. Angela and Hodgins look bemused.]
=== The Party in the Pants [8.22] ===
Cam: Either rats ate the rest of his underwear or I'd say our victim was a stripper.Booth: You were a stripper?
Brennan: It was only once.Brennan: Based on your robust frame, muscular build, and symmetrical features, you could make a good income as an exotic dancer.
Wendell: Well, then I wasted a bunch of money on grad school.Angela: [to Hodgins] You know, if I had any non-crime related cash right now, I would be stuffing it down those pants of yours.Booth: I'm just angry, that's all it is. [he and Brennan sit down on a bench] I just feel like him.
Booth: My dad. I feel like my dad. You know, he would blame her for everything. My mom would apologize and he would just stare at her.
Brennan: You are not your father.
Booth: [looks at Brennan, sarcastically] Really? Because, you know, I grew up in a household of violence and hatred. Look at me now. I look for that everyday – murder, cruelty. [sighs]
Brennan: Everyday you try to stop it. Everyday you prove what a good man you are.
Booth: Why didn't I stop her? Why didn't I stop my own mom?
Brennan: 'Cause it's difficult. Isn't that what you said about my dad? How long did it take me to forgive him? You think I still don't get angry?
Booth: Maybe it's just simpler this way, Bones.
Brennan: Is that what your religion says?
Booth: [sarcastically] Really? You wanna bring that into this conversation now?
Brennan: The Jesus myth is all about forgiveness, isn't it?
Booth: It's not a myth.
Brennan: Absolution, the ability to transform ourselves. So you grew up suffering. In the myth, Jesus suffered and he forgave those––
Booth: Not a myth.
Brennan: Please, Booth. Water to wine, raising the dead, walking on water, these defy the basic laws of physics, but forgiveness, that's its value. That's why the myth has endured.Cam: When did empowerment become stuffing dollar bills down a man's pants?
Brennan: The 1970s. I already said that. You should pay closer attention.
=== The Pathos in the Pathogens [8.23] ===
[Sweets and Angela are discussing via video-conferencing about the victim cheating on her boyfriend]
Angela: If Hodgins did this to me...
Sweets: You'd want to kill him.
Angela: No. I would kill him. [Sweets cringes]
=== The Secret in the Siege [8.24] ===
Booth: I thought you'd want some weird tribal wedding where I'd have to pay for you in giraffes.
Brennan: No, no one offers giraffes. The archaic Catholic wedding ritual is important to you, and even as an Atheist, I can see the beauty in it. Plus, I speak Latin.Brennan: It's clearly irrational, but I feel I could never find a better man to spend my life with. And I'm...
Brennan: And I thought that should be recorded for the world.Brennan: I want to marry you. Will you marry me, Booth?
Booth: Are you serious?
Brennan: Yes. I've been afraid, I've been stubborn, and I've been in love. And marriage would make you so happy.
Booth: You're sure? You're not just saying this because of Pelant and everything that's going on here?
Brennan: Positive. All of this just made me see things more clearly. I love you. I want you to be my husband. I want to...I want to spend the rest of my life with you. [Booth is still stunned] Say something.
Booth: Yes. Of course. Yes.Brennan: [to Booth] I want you to be happy. That's all I want.Brennan: You are not allowed to die. Do you understand?
Booth: Yeah, I understand.Booth: [to Bones] We're smarter than he is. Well, you're smarter. You're the smartest person in the world. Ever. I mean, since the beginning of time.Angela: Hey, we're gonna get him, Hodgins. You know that we will.
Hodgins: I should've killed him when I had the chance.