[<< wikiquote] Hamlet 2
Hamlet 2 is a 2008 comedy about a failed actor-turned-worse-high-school-drama-teacher who rallies his Tucson, AZ students as he conceives and stages a politically incorrect musical sequel to Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Directed by Andrew Fleming. Written by Andrew Fleming and Pam Brady.


== Dana Marschz ==
I feel like I've been raped....IN THE FACE!
Chuy, you're going to have a magical life. Because no matter where you go, it's always going to be better than Tucson.
It's getting late... and my wife is ovulating.
[in commercial] I'm having a herpes outbreak, right now - but you'd never know it. Thanks, Herpocol!
It's a slippery slope... beer, liquor, dope, coke, meth, chicks with dicks, then jail!


== Cricket Feldstein ==
You wanna hit me? I would love it if you hit me! I'm married to a Jew, I've got nothing to lose!


== Epiphany Sellers ==
I still get nervous around ethnics.


== Dialogue ==
Cricket Feldstein: No one is shutting down this play. The Justice Department and the so-called Supreme Court can suck my balls.
Dana Marschz: Why do they have to do this?
Cricket Feldstein: My balls?Dana Marschz: You can't let your ethnic narrow-mindedness stop your son from thriving in our culture.
Mr. Marquez: I have to take exception to that characterization.
Dana Marschz: Heywood's a bad boy. He's a gang banger. A deadbeat. But he also has a gift.
Mrs. Marquez: Who is Heywood?
Dana Marschz: Your son. Heywood Jablome.
[pause; realization dawns upon Dana]
Dana Marschz: Oh. I just got that.Cricket Feldstein: Well, this play is gonna bitch-slap Broadway like a cheap hooker at a gangbang.
Dana Marschz: Uh... yeah.
Cricket Feldstein: Y'know, and those Bible-humping protesters can suck a bag of dicks, 'cause all I ended up doing was giving you free publicity.
Dana Marschz: Yeah, and did you see my dressing room? It has a bidet!
Elisabeth Shue: That was a sink.
Dana Marschz: It was?


== Cast ==
Steve Coogan - Dana Marschz
Catherine Keener - Brie Marschz
Joseph Julian Soria - Octavio Marquez
Skylar Astin - Rand Posin
Phoebe Strole - Epiphany Sellars
Melonie Diaz - Ivonne
Arnie Pantoja - Vitamin J
Michael Esparza - Chuy
Natalie Amenula - Yolanda
David Arquette - Gary
Elisabeth Shue - Elisabeth Shue
Amy Poehler - Cricket Feldstein


== External links ==

Hamlet 2 quotes at the Internet Movie Database
Hamlet 2 at Rotten Tomatoes
The Official site