Despicable Me is a 2010 American 3D computer-animated comedy film from Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment that was released on July 9, 2010 in North America.
== Gru ==
[from trailer, when the balloon boy points at him] You got to be kidding me!
You've got to be pulling on my leg.
[To his minions] What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice. [all cheering] That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the Statue of Liberty! [Minions cheer] The small one from Las Vegas. [Minions groan with disappointment] And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.
We have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the true crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... [all the minions pull out weapons] Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet! [Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions] Hey! Dave, listen up, please! [one of the singed minions punches Dave] Next, we are going to steal... Pause for effect. [opens skylight] ...the moon!
[after Vector steals the shrink ray from Gru and shrinks Gru's ship] Ugh... I hate that guy.
[repeated line, whenever he has an idea] Light bulb...
Yes, yes. I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet goes.
[to his minions] Now, I know there have been some rumors going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumors to rest... They are true. [the minions are shocked; the girls come in behind Gru] In terms of money... we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear... [sits hopelessly on a chair] we won't. [some of his Minions start to cry] We are doomed. Now it would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know I have fired up my resume, as I suggest that all of you do as well. [Agnes tugs lightly on his sweater; to the girls] What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk?
Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my dog.
[referring to the bedtime story "Sleepy Kittens"] Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this?
[reading to the girls]Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day.Then their mother came out and said, "Time for kittens to go to bed."Three little kittens started to bawl, "Mommy, we're not tired at all."Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "Fine, but at least you should brush you fur."Three little kittens with fur all brushed said, "We can't sleep, we feel too rushed!"Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn."We can't sleep, we can't even try." Then their mother sang a lullaby."Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise.Though while you sleep, we are apart, your mommy loves you with all her heart."
[referring to the unicorn toy] Fix it? Look, it has been disintergrated. By definition it cannon be fixed.
== Vector ==
[to Gru] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... Vector! [no response] That's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [no response] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both direction and magnitude! Oh, yeah! (His best quote)
[stealing the shrink ray Gru stole] Now maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru!
They are not pajamas!
[as he is falling after being shocked off of Gru's spaceship] My flight suit! [pulls a string that releases flaps like a flying squirrel; starts flying] Oh yeah! Once again, the mighty Vec- [slams into an electrical tower, which shocks him and sends him falling and screaming]
Squid launcher! Oh yeah!
Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours.
[from the trailer] When I'm done with Gru, he's gonna be begging for mercy!
[repeated line] Oh, yeah!
[on Gru] He punched my shark!?
[After getting marooned on the moon] Oh poop.
["to Gru'] This is a squid gun. Have you ever seen one? No! That's because I invented it. Oh yeah!
["to Gru"] Im being persecuted for my 423 War crimes I committed in Malaysia, Gru!
== Margo ==
Ah! Edith! Stop it.
Actually, we can't [Russian accent] skip the dance class today.
[hugging Gru] I love you.
== Edith ==
When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
[inside Gru's Iron maiden] It poked a hole in my juice box.
[when interrupted by Gru when playing with toilet paper; points to Jerry the Minion] It was your cousin's idea.
All right then. [to Margo and Agnes]
[referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her; eager] Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!
== Agnes ==
[while praying before bedtime] And please bless that someone will adopt us soon. And that the mommy and daddy will be nice. [opens her eyes] And have a pet unicorn.[Margo and Edith look at her] Amen.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
[sings] Unicorns, I love them. Unicorns, I love them. Uni-uni-unicorns, I love them. Uni-unicorns. I could pet one if they were really real, and they are! So I bought one so I could pet it. Now it loves me. Now I love it. La-la-la-la-la.
[clutching Gru's leg, laughing] I got your leg, I got your leg!
[to Gru] Will you read us a bedtime story?
Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please?
[about a stuffed unicorn] He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
[with a stuffed unicorn before jumping for joy; in deep voice] It's so fluffy!
== Others ==
Penny: [from inside the Box of Shame] Hi, guys.
Gru's Mom: [repeated lines]: Ehh.
Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult.
Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Oh! Uh-oh! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! (Anges starts to cry. Gru: Ok, my turn.)
Man: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.
== Dialogue ==
Fred McDade (Gru's neighbor): Morning, Gru! How you doing?
Felonious Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it.
Fred: Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go.
Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
Fred: [confused] Oh, okay. Uh... yeah![Gru approaches his door, holding a mace in one of his hands. He peeks through the key hole, seeing three little girls]
Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale!
Edith: All right then.
Gru: Go away, I'm not home.
Margo: Uh, yes you are. I heard you.
[Edith jumps in front of the peephole and sticks her tongue out at Gru.]
Gru: [gasps, dropping his club] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording.
Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't.
Gru: Yes, it is. Watch this. [monotone] Leave a message. Beep. [Edith kicks the door] Ow!
[Margo leads Edith off the porch.]
Agnes: [still standing in front of Gru's door] Goodbye, recorded message.
Margo: [off-screen] Agnes, come on!Doctor Nefario: [by intercom] Gru!
Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario.
Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
Gru: What? What happened?
Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
Gru: [responds angrily] Assemble the Minions!Gru: [takes phone call] Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs]
Gru: Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
Gru's Mom: Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!Young Gru: Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
Gru's Mom: Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.[putting the girls to bed for the first time]
Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad.
Gru: Hmm... I think I can live with that.
Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
Edith: [proud] Cool.[Gru is pressured into stopping at the amusement park; they pass by one stall]
Agnes: [seeing something off-screen] Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
Edith: Follow me!
Margo: [pulling Gru's palm] You gotta let us play for it.
Gru: No, no, no. No-no-no-no.
Gru: [in a dull and bored tone] How much for the fluffy unicorn?
Carnival Barker: Well, it's not for sale. But all you gotta do, to win it, is knock down that little spaceship there. Ha! It's easy! [points to a small plastic spaceship, which has a scary face on it; Gru sighs and hands him a dollar. The girls play, but lose]
[Gru walks away]
Edith: Ah, come on. One more time.
Agnes: Just one more! I accidentally closed my eyes.
[Gru gives in and hands over another dollar. The girls play, and this time, Agnes shoots a ball that hits the ship, but doesn't knock it over. The girls cheer until the sign overhead blinks the words "STOP", then "YOU LOSE!"; Edith grieves in disappointment, and Margo looks confused]
Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that! I saw that with my own eyes!
Carnival Barker: Hey buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? Ya see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! [Gru frowns] Oooh! Uh-oh, someone's got a frowny face! [to Agnes] Boo, better luck next time!
[Agnes, her lip trembling and her eyes welling up with tears, looks at Gru. Gru's blood begins to boil.]
Gru: Okay... my turn.
[He gives the Carnival Barker another dollar and the girls step aside. Gru whips out a blaster gun, aims, and fires; the Carnival Barker ducks; there is an explosion, the spaceship turns to ash and the Carnival Barker spins dizzily.]
Gru: Knocked over!
[The Barker hurriedly gives Agnes the unicorn.]
Agnes: [ecstatic] It's so fluffy!
Edith: [laughing] Yeah!
Margo: That...was awesome.
Edith: You blew up the whole thing!
Agnes: Let's go, let's try another game![Gru and his daughters have just come back from Super Silly Fun Land, laughing together, with their faces painted and laden with sweets.]
Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word?
Gru: Okay, girls, go play. [the girls run off; Gru approaches Dr. Nefario; in a sing-song voice] I got the shrink ray!
[Dr. Nefario doesn't respond]
Gru: Cotton candy?
Dr. Nefario: We have twelve days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions!
Gru: [normal voice] Get me Perkins.[Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins]
Gru: Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! [shows the shrink ray] Huh? [Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk]
Mr. Perkins: Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [shows a picture] I fly to the moon... [shows another picture] ...I shrink the moon... [shows another picture] ...I grab the moon... [shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! [the girls laugh; nervous] Sorry. Sorry! Could you, uh... excuse me for just one second? [to the girls; whisper-yells] I told you not to touch my things, I told you, I told you, I told you a thousand times!
Margo: [not paying attention] Uh-huh. Hey, can we order pizza?
Edith: All right then.
Gru: [picks up Agnes and puts her back] Pizza? You just had lunch!
Edith: Not now, for dinner.
Gru: Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
Margo: Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
[Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face]
Edith, Agnes, Stuart and Jerry: Ooh, stuffed crust!
Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust!
Agnes: [giggles] You're funny!
Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! [closes the door; to Mr. Perkins] Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
Gru: No, no, no. I'm sorry. That was a little attempt to humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins looks at him angrily] ...inside. Now I was saying... [notices the door was open]
Mr. Perkins: You don't seem terribly focused, Gru.
Gru: Believe me, I am completely focused. I-
Edith: Hello? Whoa! That guy is huge!
Agnes: Are we on TV?
Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?!
Gru: [furious] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! [chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him] No, no, no!
Edith: Freeze ray!
Mr. Perkins: Mr. Gru?
Gru: [makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks] As I was saying...
Mr. Perkins: No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
Gru: But my plan--
Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
[Gru remembers some of his memories]
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon!
Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's picture, but turns back] Ehh.
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni!
Gru's Mom: [looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets] Ehh.
Young Gru: [excitedly] Look, Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [presses a button and sends the rocket into space]
Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off] Ooo... [looks back at Gru] Ehh.
Gru: [Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused] I... don't understand.
Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well, a younger villain.
Gru: But I--
Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [crushes his apple and the TV turns off]Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me?
Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor.
Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector!
Mr. Perkins: Sit down!
[Vector immediately sits down.]
Mr. Perkins: Do you know where the shrink ray is?
Vector: Duh! Back at my place.
Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just... [shows Vector the image on his laptop] have one that looks exactly like it!
Vector: What the...? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
Vector: No, I haven't!
Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?
Vector: Just wait till Gru sees my newest invention: squid launcher! Oh yeah! [fires a squid into the lobby]
Man: Aah! There's a squid on my face!
Vector: You just wait. The Moon is as good as ours!Gru: [trying to put the girls in bed] Come on now. It's bed time. [to Agnes] Did you brush your teeth? [Agnes nods] Let me smell, Let me smell... [Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags] You did not! [Edith suddenly lands on him] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
Edith: But we're not tired!
Gru: Well, I am tired!
Agnes: [holding the book Sleepy Kittens] Will you read us a bedtime story?
Gru: [in a deep voice] No. [attempts to leave the room]
Agnes: Pretty please?
Gru: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
Edith: But we can't! We're all hyper!
Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
Gru: [sighs; giving in] Fine.Margo: He's not going to kiss us goodnight, Agnes. [turns off her light]
Agnes: I like him. He's nice.
Edith: But scary. [turns off her light]
Agnes: ...Like Santa! [turns off her light]Gru: [approaches Vector's base and starts pounding on the front gate] Vector! Open up!
Vector: [A huge TV monitor appears in front of Gru, revealing Vector's face] First give me the moon, then we'll talk.
[Gru realizes there's nothing left to do and pulls out the shrunken moon out of one of his pocket. A small tube appears out next to the main gate. Gru puts the moon in the tube which then closes automatically. The girls are trapped in a giant glass ball, Agnes calls out]
Agnes: Mr. Gru!
Vector: Zip it, happy meal!
Gru: Now, the girls.
Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold onto them a little while longer.
Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! [the monitor retracts]
Gru: [leans into the camera lens] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
Vector: [laughs, sarcastically] Ooh, I'm really scared!
[Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.]
Agnes: [smugly] He is gonna kick your butt.Gru: Okay, girls, time for bed.
Edith: Ah, come on, we want a story.
Agnes: [excited] Three Sleepy Kittens!
Gru: Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
Gru: Tonight, we are going to read a new book. [shows his homemade book to the girls] This one is called, "One Big Unicorn" by... Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! [opens the book] Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. [sticks his nose through a small hole] That's the horn.
[the girls laugh along with Gru]
Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever.
Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. [opens the book] Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down."
Edith: [points to the page] Hey, that one looks like me!
Gru: [pulls back the book] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [continues reading] "They made him laugh... [laughs] ...They made him cry." [sighs] "He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart." [beats] The End. [closes the book] Okay, alright, good night.
[Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck]
Margo: I love you.
Gru: [hugging her back; whispering] I love you too.[watching the girls' dance recital]
Gru: They're very good.
Marlena: Ah, I'm so proud of you, son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. [Gru rolls his eyes] Maybe even better. [Gru smiles]
== About Despicable Me ==
Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like Dracula and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of James Bond, thinking of characters like Goldfinger and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.Chris Renaud in "Directors Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin on Creative Choices and Challenges in “Despicable Me” Films", by C. Edwards, Cartoon Brew, 01/03/2014.
== Taglines ==
Some call him bad, they call him dad. (British tagline)
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
Happy Fathers’ Day
Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a bad guy.
From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.
== Cast ==
Steve Carell — Gru.
Jason Segel — Victor "Vector" Perkins.
Russell Brand — Dr. Nefario.
Julie Andrews — Marlena Gru.
Will Arnett — Mr. Perkins.
Kristen Wiig — Miss Hattie.
Miranda Cosgrove — Margo.
Dana Gaier — Edith.
Elsie Fisher — Agnes.
Pierre Coffin — Tim / Bob / Mark / Phil / Stuart.
Chris Renaud — Dave.
Jemaine Clement — Jerry.
Jack McBrayer — Tourist Father / Carnival Barker.
Ken Jeong — Talk Show Host.
Danny McBride — Fred McDade.
Mindy Kaling — Tourist Mother.
Rob Huebel — Anchorman / Newscaster.
Ken Daurio — Egyptian Guard.
== External links ==
Despicable Me quotes at the Internet Movie Database