[<< wikiquote] Goof Troop
Goof Troop (1992-93) was an animated TV series produced by Walt Disney Television Animation and featuring the (mis-)adventures and antics of Goofy, his son Max, Goofy's neighbor Pete and Pete's family (his wife Peg, son PJ, and daughter Pistol).  The series ran for a total of 79 episodes.


== A Heavy Legacy for Pete ==
Pete: PJ?!
PJ: Dad? (gasps) It can't be! The Ghost of My Dad! He came back to kill us all!
Goofy, Max, PJ: Aaaaah!
Goofy: Pete! You're cured!
PJ: Thank goodness, you're well!
Max: You gave us quite a scare.
PJ: I'm so glad you're okay.
Max: And I'm so glad you got the tickets.
PJ: And I'm so glad you're strong enough.
Max: And I'm so glad you got your pants back.
PJ: And I'm so glad you're finally better.
Max: And I'm so glad you took the bad news.
PJ: And I'm so glad you're not dying.
Max: And I'm so glad you got it right.
PJ: And I'm so glad you're back on the concrete.
Max: And I'm so glad you've won.
PJ: And I'm so glad you told the truth just like you said! (hugs Pete at last) Don't you ever
Max: trick us
PJ: again.
Pete: Very well, boys. I won't do it again.
Federal Department of Advertising Man: Pete, you're back!
Voice in the Crowd: Hey, Federal Department of Advertising Man. Pete's back.
Federal Department of Advertising Man: He is? I don't know what to say.
Voice in the Crowd: Well, then, Welcome back, boss.
Pete: Hey, wait a minute. Stop! Let me go! I, I tell you the, the only thing wrong with me is my profit margin!
Peg: (gasps) Profit Margin?!!
Chainsaw: Look out!PJ: NO! NO! Don't operate! I don't believe it. It was just a dream. I'm saved! Whew.
Peg: Now, now, now... now that you're cured, after all, what I did to them, so I'm sorry I was too drastic. And I will never ever be ashamed with you.
Pete: And I'm sorry I scared them, I would luau with you.
Peg: Well, I wouldn't luau with you if my hula hips depended on it!
Voice in the Crowd: All is forgotten and forgiven. Apology has been accepted. Take them away, Federal Department of Advertising Man!
Federal Department of Advertising Man: Of course, buddy. Of course. I will. That's right, come on. I'll take you two away. It's no problem.


== And Baby Makes Three ==
Max: You know, maybe we're targeting the wrong audience.
PJ:  Eighty-five gallons of sweat later you tell me this?Pistol: Dadd-ee?  Don't wanna bug ya, jus' a small request, but... can I have a baby brother, please?
Pete: [distractedly] Sure, sure, candy, ice cream, baby brother, anything... soon as your mother gets home.


== Axed By Addition ==
Max:  It's not over yet!  You've got twenty-three hours and fourteen minutes to do everything you ever wanted to do in your whole life!
PJ: Even the stuff I'd get killed for?
Max:  What have you got to lose?  PJ, you're dead meat anyway!PJ:  Max?  Maybe we oughta try something tamer, like skydiving off the Trump Tower?
Max:  Hey, when my best buddy's looking at life in prison with no parole, I'm not gonna let him miss his last chance to break his neck!PJ: NO! NO! Don't operate! Okay, okay, I give, I give. I'M NOT REALLY SICK!!!
Max: [as a surgeon] Oh, yes, you aaaare!


== Buddy Building ==
Pete: And they all lived happily ever after; yada, yada, yada!  You spuds shouldn't be wasting time in front of the tube!  It's summer, for crying out loud's sakes; now go out and get a life!  But keep it quiet!  The game's about to start!PJ: How come when somebody gets three wishes on TV, they always blow it?
Max: Ah, Peege, they're just cartoons.  They don't know any better.
PJ: I mean, everybody knows you'd just wish for more wishes.
Max: Well, if you had all the wishes in the world, what would you wish for?
[PJ has struggled to get himself to stand on his skates, and the two start skating.]
PJ: Oh, man; I'd be the best at everything!  I'd be the best basketball player, baseball player, race car driver, and...definitely the best...skater!  Whoa!PJ: I think our club needs a coordination coordinator!Peg: Oh, look!  Harold Hatchback's got Miss Spoonerville for his new commercial!  I guess some men love their women with mustaches!
PJ: Oh for crying out's sakes; that spud gets ALL the celebrities!  What does he do?  Hang out at "Nose Jobs for Less?"
Peg: Well, it sure beats your ad with Gibblet the Clown!Peg: Well, if Spoonerville has any celebrities at all, they're probably out trying to get a tan.Goofy: I love show business!  [laughs]Coop Hatchback: I wanted to thank you guys for counting me in.  I was getting pretty bored talking to dumbbells all the time!Ronald: HELP!  HELP!  SOMEBODY FORGOT TO HIRE ME A STUNT DOUBLE!
PJ: There he is!
Harold: Now, when we find him, let me ask him about doing the commercials!
Pete: No!  Let me do the talking!  After all, I'm a better salesman!
Harold: What?  You couldn't sell a good deed to Mother Teresa!
Pete: Well, you couldn't sell ice to an Eskimo!  HA!


== Date With Destiny ==
Gilda: Here's the bill for all of my time you've taken up.
Peg: [suspiciously] Bill?  What bill?
Gilda: [shoves Pete out of his seat] Lady, let me tell you about your husband's sense of humor.


== Everything's Coming Up Goofy ("Forever Goof", part 1) ==
PJ: [examining the damage to Pete's boat] Whoa, those guys are dead meat! When Dad sees this, he's gonna blow a gut!
Pistol: [shaking her head] Nah-uh... Betcha this time it's his spleen!
PJ: Quarter?
Pistol: You're covered!
[Later, after Pete reacts to the damage to his boat, PJ knocks on Pistol's door and tosses her a quarter.]
PJ: You were right... spleen.
Pistol: Hiya, how you doing, nice to meet you, let me shake your hands while they're still attached to your arms!


== From Air To Eternity ==
PJ: What about all those trophies on the "Wall of Petes", Dad?
Pete:  [sobbing] The Wall of Petes is a big pile of... horse feathers!


== Good Neighbor Goof ("Forever Goof", part 2) ==
[Scene: Max and PJ are ready to crush cans Max's way.]
PJ: Are you sure this will work?
Max: I'd stake your life on it, dude!
[Later, after they execute Max's plan to crush the cans]
PJ: Okay, I lied to my parents once... oh, and I tore the head off my little sister's doll!
Max: PJ, why are you telling me all this?
PJ: In case we don't make it, I wanna go with a clear conscience, y'know?[Max and PJ are in their rooms talking via tin-can telephone after their dads forbid them from seeing each other.]
Max: Get over here, PJ!  We gotta talk!
PJ: No can do, dude!  My dad's watching me... he's got all the exits covered!
Max: No sweat!
[Max yanks hard on his end of the phone.  PJ, who is holding onto the other end, flies out his window and lands in Max's room.]
Max: Here, Peej, smash this muffin in my face!
PJ: [confused] Okay, but why?
Max: It's the only way we can be friends!
PJ: No, I... I can't do it, Max...
Max: You're gonna have to, PJ!  It's our only hope!  If you don't do this, we're gonna... [PJ smashes the muffin in Max's face] ... I think you're getting the hang of it.


== Great Egg-Spectations ==
Max: PJ, red alert! Scramble!
PJ: Yo, Max!  What is it?
Max: Peej, your dad's gonna pop Bubbles!
PJ: [gasps] Be right down!


== Hot Air ==
Pete: Pistol, what are you doing? Little bitsy girls can't fly!
Pistol: [giggling] Oh, don't be silly, Daddy... I'm not flying, I'm landing!
Pete: Landing?  Oh, that's different...  LANDING?!?!


== Inheritance is Human ==
PJ: I know. I'll look. Hello, what's this? Mail for me? Wow. Hey, what's in the note? (reading) "Everyone has made me Inheritance boy of the year." Inheritance boy of the year. (as he starts packing, Max starts to sob.) Inheritance boy of the year. I've been waiting for this entire moment. And Don't Worry, Mr. G, while I'm gone, I'll have the Federal Department of Advertising Man help you. One more thing. Pete's a better fisherman than you! (laughing loudly) So long, Mr. G! (continues laughing loudly) I did it. I finally did it! I tricked Max! (continues laughing loudly and whooping happily)
PJ: Here you go.
Voice in the Crowd: Oh, thank you. Thank you ever so much.
PJ: What's next on my Inheritance list? Hmm. I don't know what to do. (to the lens) Let's ask Mom. Hey, Mom, can you help me?
Peg: What is it, Son?
PJ: I really need your help to tell me what's wrong with Max.
Peg: I know what's wrong. The only thing wrong with that rotten pineapple rind is fishing fever.
PJ: [gasps] Is that when you break out in fish hooks and your limbs scale off?
Peg: No, PJ, It's when your bait can of yours tricks a father into doing his job so he can take the day off fishing.
PJ: Wait a minute. You're right.
Max: He Tricked him for us?
Goofy: What? He did?
PJ: I did?
Peg: He could... he would... You're right, you did.
Goofy: Oh, he did. Hey, Peg! Somethin' is wrong here! He tricked my son!
Max: Waaaah!
PJ: Listen to the Mom, Listen to the Mom.
Peg: Now, now, now... Thank you for cuing me, however, fishing fever is a very stubborn disease.
PJ: So the plan is we nab him.
Peg: Oh, That's a great idea, PJ, yes, indeed, but, I'm afraid the cure will have to be... drastic.
PJ: The radio. Perfect.
PJ: What? No, no, no. Don't look now, Dad, your eyes can't take the daylights! Good. Listen to the Radio!
Pete: Hey, wait a minute. Stop! Let me go!
PJ: All right, Dad. [gasps] Dad, What's wrong? Tell me.
Pete: [whimpers] I, I tell you the, the only thing wrong with me is my profit margin!
PJ: (gasps) Profit margin? Ooh, yeah.
Peg: Hmmmm! Hmmmm! Mmm-hmmm! A clear case of terminal lazy-Ola, systemic shirk-itis, and a galloping boondoggle-emia. Great job, PJ! Not a second to lose!


== Maximum Insecurity ==
Pete: Stealing's wrong! It's against the law... and it's just plain bad manners!  And if I caught anyone I know stealing, I'd scale and sand 'em myself.  Understood?
[Max and PJ look at each other and gulp.]
PJ: Thanks, Dad!
Max: Thanks, Mr. P!
[The boys quickly exit as Pete wrestles with his new power tool.]
PJ: Aw, great!  Leech is gonna kill us, the police are gonna arrest us, and my dad's gonna sand us!
Max: Look, we'll hide the bottle here for tonight.  In the morning we'll think of something!
PJ: Like changing our names and putting ourselves up for adoption?!


== Max's 70 Years of Unlucky Weekends ==
Max: I just don't get it. Every time I go outside and say what a beautiful day it is something bad happens to me. Wait a minute. If I say the opposite maybe nothing bad will happen. Yeah. I'll go give it a try. What a terrible horrible no-good really bad day.
PJ: Wait a minute. He wouldn't! do that. Would he? Did he say that?
Peg: He could... he would... You're right, he did.
Max: Bing.
PJ: What now, Mom?
Peg: Now, now, now... Going outside is very Unlucky for Max, so you don't have to worry, but I'm afraid the cure will have to be... drastic.
PJ: I think you got a point.
Max: (stammers)
PJ: No, no, no. Don't look now, Max, your eyes can't take the daylights! There it is, Mom. The tap dancing shoes all ready to tap dance.
Peg: Hmmmm! Hmmmm! Mmm-hmmm! A clear case of terminal lazy-Ola, systemic shirk-itis, and a galloping boondoggle-emia. Well done, PJ! Not a second to lose!
PJ: The tapping will cue in 4, 3, 2, 1 and 0. Oh, nice knowing you, Max.
Max: Aaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! (yelping) Oh, god, please be mud.
PJ: It worked. What about all those trophies on the "Wall of Petes", Dad?
Pete: [sobbing] The Wall of Petes is a big pile of... horse feathers!
Max: Oh. (sniffles) Now I know how Mr. Scrappy feels.
Goofy: What's wrong, Maxie?
Max: Oh, Dad, All I wanted was to have a good day. But do I get one? No. My life has been invaded Earl's reckon numbers, bird trap, a fire breathing dragon and I just got ran over by a stampede of Buffaloes. How could this get any worse? Getting Trampled by Crowd?
Goofy: Guess not. Bye.


== Midnight Movie Madness ==
Max: I'm eleven-and-a-half!  Nothing scares me!
PJ: Except math tests.
Max: [glaring at PJ] That's different, PJ...


== O, R-V, I N-V U ==
Max: Peej, on a scale of one to ten, how much does your dad usually like me?
PJ: Less than zero?


== PJ's Busy Day ==
PJ: I did it. I tricked my Dad. It was just a conversation.
PJ: Dad, I know you treated me badly and I'm very sorry I tricked you. I promised I will never trick you again.
PJ: [gasps] Hello. What's that? My bait can. I've been looking all over for it. Now I can take some fishing with Dad. Daphne's going to be in big trouble. With Daphne on fire, The Goods train will be destroyed. Once Daphne goes racing by with an out of control goods train and her fashion breaks on fire after that, I can turn green and toss three meals a day! Ooh, yeah. That will spook and surprise her. Wait a minute. She wouldn't be on fire. Would she?
Max: He Tricked him for us?
Goofy: What?
PJ: I did? Hey, I did. Really? Well, let me show you how I did.
Goofy: I love show business!  [laughs]
PJ: Daphne's been stealing everything. But she didn't steal my bait can. I'm keeping it for keeps.
Pete: Stealing's wrong! It's against the law... and it's just plain bad manners! And if I caught anyone I know stealing, I'd scale and sand 'em myself.  Understood?
PJ: Thanks, Dad!
Pete: That's my boy.
PJ: Did Dad called me boy? Well, he did.
Daphne: Aaaaaaaah!
PJ: Uh-oh. Time to pinch them now. [snickers]
Goofy: Gawrsh, This I gotta see.
Pistol: Waaaaaah!
Goofy, Max: Aaaaaaah!
Goofy: Are little sisters supposed to be motivated?
PJ: There. That did the trick on her. Finally. I got my seat back. Phew. The rockets will make me happier.
[the rocket explodes; PJ straps on a second rocket]
PJ: This better be good.
[the rocket explodes; PJ straps on a third rocket]
PJ: This better be good.
[yet another explosion; PJ angrily glares at a fourth rocket]
PJ: This better be good. Phew.
[yet another explosion; cut to PJ, now outside on a jet engine]
PJ: It worked! Out of the way!
[yet another explosion; cut to PJ, who's hurt]
PJ: Ouuuuch!
Peg: (gasps) PJ! Are you being mean to your sister?!
PJ: Yes, I should've gotten her a book.
PJ: I would like to Thank Pete, My Dad, Peg, My Mom, Pistol, My Sister, My Friend Max and Mr. G for helping me.


== Slightly Dinghy ==
PJ: No way! Forget it, Max! You cannot talk me into this one!
Max: Aww, Peej!  Fishing with your dad!  What could be more fun?
PJ: Eating glass! You know what fishing with him is like? Not to mention when I turn green and toss three meals a day!

PJ: When are we gonna look for treasure?
Max: Soon as we ditch the dads!  New plan...
PJ: Oh, I hate this!
Max: You'll love it!  [singsong] You get to hit me!
PJ: [eagerly] Really?
Max: Yeah!  But I get to hit you... first!
[Max hauls back and punches PJ across Pete's boat, then starts to sob.]
Max: Dad, PJ says Pete's a better fisherman than you!
Pete: Whaddaya mean lettin' your kid hit my kid just for tellin' the truth?


== To Heir Is Human ==
Peg: I know what's wrong. The only thing wrong with that rotten pineapple rind is fishing fever!
PJ: [gasps] Is that when you break out in fish hooks and your limbs scale off?
Peg: No, PJ, It's when your bait can of a father tricks you into doing his job so he can take the day off fishing!
Max: He Tricked him for us?
Goofy: What?
PJ: Wait a minute. He wouldn't! Did he?
Peg: He could... he would... You're right, he did.
Goofy: Hmm.
Goofy, Max, PJ: Nah! He didn't. But what should we do now?
Peg: Now, now, now... fishing fever is a very stubborn disease, so I'm afraid the cure will have to be... drastic.PJ: [in a surgical mask] No, no, no. Don't look now, your eyes can't take the daylights!
Pete: Hey, wait a minute. Stop! Let me go! [whimpers] I, I tell you the, the only thing wrong with me is my profit margin!
Peg: [in a surgical mask] Hmmmm! Hmmmm! Mmm-hmmm! A clear case of terminal lazy-Ola, systemic shirk-itis, and a galloping boondoggle-emia. Not a second to lose!


== Wrecks, Lies & Videotape ==
Peg: I wouldn't luau with you if my hula hips depended on it!


== You Camp Take It With You ==
Max: We're losing the trailer!
Goofy: Take the wheel, Max!
Max: But I'm only eleven-and-a-half years old!
Goofy: That's all right, Maxie... this car is old enough to drive itself!
[Goofy climbs out of, and over, the car to get to the trailer hitch.]
Max: [giggles] You need a license to do this?


== Cast ==
Bill Farmer - Goofy, Dr. Frankengoof
Jim Cummings - Pete, The Chief of Police, Mayor Baba, King Richard the Chicken-hearted, Sir Reginald, The Frankengoof Monster
Dana Hill - Max
Rob Paulsen - Biff Fuddled, Leech, Douglas Twinkmeyer, PJ
April Winchell - Danielle Wrathmaker, Peg
Nancy Cartwright - Pistol, Melvin
Charles Nelson Reilly - Dutch Spackles
Jack Angel - The Chief of Police
Charlie Adler - The Magician's Hat, Igor, Street Theatre Teacher
Frank Welker - Earl of Earl's Auto, Gilbet the Clown, Isadore Eyesore, Dr. Watson, Prince Freddy, Chainsaw, Waffles & Pancakes


== External links ==

Goof Troop quotes at the Internet Movie Database
Goof Troop at TV.com